THOR JUICE
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QUESTIONNAIRE WITH THE THOR JUICE TEAM #3
Another year has passed and the dust has settled from the end of year celebrations. 2017 was good for we of Thor
Juice Ltd. In honour of the traditions for the season of good will, many settlements were burned to the ground as
we soaked our blades in the blood of our enemies; Those that escaped our onslaught would surely have perished
in the cold harsh winter, the thought of which warms our innards as we polish off the last of the spit roast boar with
a couple of pickled onions.
The brave weather-worn souls of Thor Juice march boldly on. Never weighed down by the weight of their armour,
eyes firmly set on the horizon. United they stand, an unbreakable chain of shields and swords. What strange new
lands await their conquest? What trials will they endure to get there? What motivates the soldiers? What kind of
mind must one have to endure and achieve what they do?
The following questionnaire hopes to answer that.....!
1. If you could forcibly impose a new
years vape related resolution on a
fellow member of staff - who, what
and why?
TRACY - Jay, everytime he moans
(which is a lot) he has to vape juice
with a hit of laughing gas.
BEN - Thoren, I’d make him swallow
his vape so when he farted we saw
when he let one rip rather than go
silent but deadly.
DEAN - Stick a rocket up Jay,
production will increase!
4. What mod would you most like to
find in your Christmas stocking this
year?
JOHN - Sting from Quadrophenia.
RYAN - Thor box mod!
TRACY - One that doubles up as an
electric toothbrush, multi tasking is
key.
7. You have to come up with the next
big flavour and it has to be
Christmas-savoury-themed.
What is it?
ASH - Pigs in blankets.
DEAN - Turkey and stuffing, would call
it ‘Stuffed’.
TRACY - Gingersquirt (The juice of a
gingerbread man).
222 | VM15
2. Santa did not bring you the Rogue
mod you asked for Christmas. How
would you hunt him down and kill
him?
JOHN - I would wait until he was half-
way down my neighbours chimney,
drop a 30k disk weight on his head
and blame it on them.
3. What is the most foul and
depraved meaning you can up
with for ’PG’ & ‘VG’?
RYAN - PG = Parental Guidance.
VG = VirGin.
RYAN - Put poison in his mince pie
next year. JAY - PG = Probing Grandads.
VG = Voluptuous Grannies.
TRACY - I would turn all his elves
against him using a toxic vape. They
would tie him up and tickle him to
death while singing Christmas songs. JOHN - PG = Penis Glugging.
VG = Vagina Gain.
5. This year you make your millions
through the vape industry. What
would you name your first yacht to
honour this?
TRACY - ‘Vapeaway’.
BEN - ‘The Black Pearl’, I’d use the
vape as fog.
JOHN - ‘Fog On The Brine’.
8. What Thor Juice employer would
you score 10/10?
JOHN - Thoren, he is the bestest.
MEGGAN - Katy, she signs the
paychecks right?
RYAN - Thoren..... 10/10 for doing
nothing at all.
6. Perform a crazy vape trick, what
and how?
BEN - Blow a jellyfish and have £50
notes hanging on it’s tenticles.
TRACY - Blow an ‘O’ ring and it
transports you to Asgard.
ASH - Everytime I inhale I would get
larger like the hulk.
9. If you could invent a new vape
related undergarment, what would it
be and do?
JAY - Boxers to be made out of muji
cotton so everytime I re-wick I can
pull a bit off.
JOHN - The latest copy of the
Vapouround magazine to be printed
on my underwear, so I have it to
hand everywhere I go.
DEAN - I don’t wear underwear.