Unnamed Journal Volume 3, Issue 3 - Page 32

Breakdown Martin. Sorry about the noise." Yup. That Steve Martin. Father of the Bride Steve Martin. The Jerk Steve Martin. "A Wild And Crazy Guy" Steve Martin. The guy that put on a prosthetic nose to do a modern retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac with Daryl Hannah, and made you believe it. And he's standing there on your street with a banjo, having just slayed a demon beast, and he's apologizing. To you. Don't be rude, shake the man's hand. "What was...?" "...That?" he says, unruffled. "Oh, just an interdimensional hiccup. Did you notice that it was wearing an arrow on its head and shouting 'Let's get small'?" "Yeah," you say, thankful that someone is affirming your perception. "That was one of my routines. One of my albums, really. Back when I had those. I do miss it sometimes, if I'm being honest, but it was a bit of a cage. I couldn't still be doing that. It would stop being funny." "Sure," you say, as if this conversation makes sense. "I don't often get a Let's Get Small. Mostly it's stuff from the Wild and Crazy Guy album. Lot of King Tut. If I had a nickel for every one of those I've had to deal with, I'll tell you... Wow. Once it was Comedy is Not Pretty. It really made me regret going drag for that cover. Not that I'm judging mind, but... I did not have the face for that. Really didn't." You nod, mouth agape. "I think my dad had that album." He nods, still friendly. "The material on it is pretty good. "Googlephonics," especially. I don't know how I got the "Drop Thumb Medley" instrumental on it. I guess I had clout. That cover though. Yikes." You're still nodding. Stop nodding. You like like a schmuck. "Okay," he says, "let me keep this simple. I sometimes emit monstrous versions of myself - you can call them demonic if that helps you - and they run around freaking people out until I can catch them. Once they enter contact with me, they re-integrate with my reality. No harm, no foul." "Why?" "There was a ceremony at a midnight crossroads involving Earl Scruggs. I'd rather not get into it if you don't mind." "Oh... Okay." "Thanks, I really appreciate it." Pause. He smiles again. "Well, sorry again for the trouble. I'll be on my way now." Shake his hand again, watch him with his