Unnamed Journal Volume 3, Issue 2 - Page 27

Ogre Did Nothing Wrong: A Drunk Rant About Nerds and Nerd Culture By Thomas M. Fitz Why the fuck is there a Han Solo standalone movie? Why does that exist? Why did someone spend good money to create it? Why did actors and screenwriters and directors line up to take a shot at directing it? Why? To make art? Is the Han Solo standalone movie driven by some aesthetic principle? A need to create truth and express it? Or is it driven by something else? I've asked too many questions. It's rhetorical, and it's off-putting. I could have culled all those questions down to a few. I wouldn't have needed so many paragraph breaks. But I'm enjoying Deep Eddy Ruby Red Vodka, and I don't care. I'm going to be rhetorical and I'm going to be obnoxious. Go cry, emo kid. (Incidentally, do you know how many times I had to retype that before the autocorrect stopped changing it to "emotional" or "emoji". Fuck you, 21 st Century) Back to my questions. The Han Solo movie exists because a bunch of coke-addled whores who run a pop-culture sweatshop and several overpriced amusement parks (some of which have no fucking rides. Epcot is a mall you pay $100 to get into. A MALL!) decided that it would make money. Now, I may disparage these people's life choices and moral stature, but I never would suggest them to be stupid. One does not climb to the top of the greasy pole of our entertainment industry, win the Game of Casting Couches, without having a generous portion of mother-wit, even if it's no more than the college-educated version of a three-card monte