"I weave through the crowd of glitter-beards and hipster chicks in draped gowns and I follow my lovely brunette in the bobbed hair and the fishnets at a discrete distance. She slides down a hall and I move cool after her and she's standing there with her arms crossed and her legs wide, smirking. I roll up and we say dumb shit to each other. You know, those pregnant 'hey's? Anyway, in the middle of all this sounding of each other, she says 'you want to know a secret?' "I say I love secrets. She leans in and puts her lips to my ear and says 'The Dragon is here.' "I won't lie, that did intrigue me. Not as much as the feel of her hip in the palm of my hand, but I was intrigued. But I played it off and said basically 'Uh huh'. She said she'd show him to me. I said okay, and she took me by the hand and led me down the hall. And then she took me into a bedroom with a whole wall of windows. Kinda like this one, but bigger. Great view of the lights down below. And sitting on the bed, crisp blue suit, one shoe on, one shoe off, sunglasses askew, is this guy. On his right hand is a tiny tattoo of a dragon. He doesn't move or acknowledge us and I think it's a bit weird. "'How you know him?' I asked." "She says 'We go back,'" "I roll up to the guy and I wave my hand in front of his face and he's catatonic. Non compus mentus. I look back at her and say 'How do I know you're not pulling my leg?' She grins at me and says 'You don't'. "I sneer at her and say 'Dragon, my ass. This is supposed to be what, a Side Party?'" "Then the guy on the bed responds, he says 'Side Party'. Real creepy and weird like he's just repeating it. Like an echo. I say 'What is his deal?' She walks up and puts her hand on his forehead, touches his cheeks. Like there's some kind of connection there, in a weird, almost-familial way. And I just felt odd and out of place. None of this made sense. Here's a guy who's supposed to be the Secret King of L.A. Nightlife, and he's sitting like a mumbling bum in a room where a bunch of people who would break elbows to meet him don't know he's even there. That just couldn't be true. That kind of garbage happens in O.Henry stories, not real life. "'This is a drag,' I said. And he echoed me again. 'A drag', he said, and then added 'Such a drag,' And then she put her hand on his shoulder, and agreed 'Yeah,' she said, like you would talk to a child 'it is a drag, isn't it?'" "'A drag,' he agreed. And I'm about ready to run out screaming because I'm not following what's going on. I said, 'There's a whole party out there that you made happen. My friend is out there waiting to be told what to do with his goat. Where's the Main Party? Where's the real deal?' "'A drag,' he said. "'Fuck this,' I said, 'he ain't no Dragon,' And I walked out of the room. 'Dragon,' he said, except he said it in a way that sounded like 'Draggin''. It stopped me in my tracks for a moment. But I kept going, out the room, and down the hall. I found a bar and I made myself a shot of whiskey. That tasted good, so I had another. Then I had some more.