Unnamed Journal Volume 3, Issue 1 - Page 34

The Meditations of Caius Caligulia Book II - Of Men D eath is a grim subject to write of, and I must admit, one I may be less qualified to write of than I ought to be. But I am more qualified than many. For you see, I have made quite a study of it. This alone assures me of a place apart from the multitude of men. Please do not read contempt in that. Death is a horrible thing to most men - a dissolution of the self and a return to the pit at the heart of the earth. The horror of that, the futile attempt to escape or transcend it, drives men like a Fury behind them, cracking her hideous whip. If I am not a God, I am at any rate a Fury. I know this, because I have looked into the faces of men as they died. Sometimes, when I have a spare moment between the labor of government and the madness of amusement, I try to count the number of men I have killed. I patiently try to recall the faces of transformation, the moment when the soul disconnects and the body becomes so much refuse. It is a mystery I shall never tire of exploring. True mastery is coincidence of tireless practice and continuous study. To master death, I must also study it. In the process, I learn much about men. Men are strange creatures. To animals, they are as gods, or at any rate, nymphs. But to Gods they are but birds, birds that sings songs in praise of reason but whose actions are never rational. Permit me an example: a few years ago, early in my reign, I had been very ill. A consequence of my divinity devouring my humanity, I suppose. In any case, a Roman citizen by the name of Afranius Potitius made a solemn vow to offer his own life if I recovered. Which I did. Whereupon I summoned him to court to recognize his vow. The fool came eagerly, no doubt expecting to be show \Y]]\܈\X[KHۈ\XB[H[\Y]HY\\\\\H[\[\Y]\[H\[\\ˈ]\]Z\Y]\Hو^H[X۝Y\^HXHXYH[]Y HY&]][ܘXHZ[K][]HY[[ܙHX\]X[\وܙX]\HXZ\HZ\H]H\[[[ۈقY\[[ܙ\]HH]\Y܈XZ[][H\YHHXZ\YX\[[][ۈوY\][\HH][و\܋HX[H^X][ۈ\H\[[ݙYHXX\\[X]Y\[ܛˈY]]\[Y [[ܙH[ۘK[\Y[[YYX[\YY[HYX]܈]ˈHYX\ۘXH[ ][]x&YۛHY[[HHH[YܙK]H]\XYHܝܚو[KH[]H\Y\YH HHYۛHYY YH H]H\ܙY ]\HYH[[^KܙYx)H\]H]H][\H[YH]Y[[ۈ\H\وB[HH[H\Y] [[H[ܜˈ\\YHX]\HH[HYXY][X[]K[[X[^\Y[K[H[[H\YYYZ\[[ۙ[K[H\Yو[]H][\H^B\[]YKHYX[و\K^H[Z[K\H\HX[Hو[H[]\[X\و^H\ []œ[XZ[[ˈYHو\\^H][ H[Y[HYZ] ][و]\ [و]\[Y[H\˜HKH[\HH[X[XH܈HX[ۜو]Y\\[]XH[X\]\^H[قH\\[KX\Z[\ˈH[\]Hو]]H[YH]\\[[[[YH\