Unnamed Journal Volume 2, Issue 3 - Page 7

How I’m Pretty Sure World War One Started von Falkenhayn: So butthurt... von Moltke: So, Schlieffen believed that the optimum result would stem from using the bulk of our forces on one front, winning a decisive victory there, and then consolidating our army against the remaining opponent. Kaiser: Bold and simple. I like it. von Moltke: Now, since their defeat by us in the Franco-Prussian War… von Kluck: Boo-Yah! Germany 1, France nothing! Kaiser: Settle down. von Falkenhayn: Act like you’ve been here before, Kluck. von Kluck: Blow me, Falkenhayn. von Moltke: …the French have studded our mutual border with fortresses, which, while not insurmountable to an attack by us… von Falkenhayn: I dunno, dude. Verdun is pretty scary. von Moltke: …would preclude the kind of swift victory that our strategy requires. Kaiser: So instead… von Moltke: So instead, All-Highest, Schlieffen recommended a large, flanking maneuver through Belgium. Kaiser: Huh? von Moltke: The flat country there will permit the swift movement of massed armies, enabling our troops to fall upon the French left and rear before they’ve had time to properly mobilize. Kaiser: Really? von Moltke: As commander of the First Army, von Kluck, you will command the most extreme wing of the army. von Kluck: Sweet. von Moltke: It will fall to you to move the fastest and avoid being outflanked. von Kluck: In the bag, son. Kaiser: Hang on, hang on, slow your roll there, Moltke. von Moltke: All-Highest?