Spirit Of A Girl
Bowen
I had forgotten about stillness, present moment
awareness, really trusting my intuition the way I knew
it growing up in Montana and spending so much quiet
time with nature.
I had forgotten about observing, learning and
experiencing a connection to the wildlife and the
environment that inspired my knowing and recognition
of myself. I forgot what mattered in life ensconced in
the soul crushing daily grind of career politics and
stretching myself so thin and saying “yes” because “I
should”, that I breaking me down. I had forgotten
about me. Something I didn’t even realize until the
horses came into my life.
But I will never forget sitting at the top of the hill in
my truck, in the dark waiting for the headlights from a
truck pulling a horse trailer to appear so I could lead us
all to our new life. At the time, I didn’t fully
understand the tears that erupted at the sight of those
headlights but the fact that I allowed them to come was
telling. I was holding the world on my shoulders and
that didn’t allow much space for my emotions, I was
too busy tending to everyone else’s. I knew I was
stepping into uncharted territory, a purposeful part of
my life’s journey.
It has been said by more than one “expert” in the field
of healing emotionally, spiritually and mentally that
“we must heal what has been hurt in relationship
within relationship. Most of the fears and roadblocks
that keep us from loving and living our authentic lives
are due to the damage we experienced somewhere in
it. It was the chance arrival of the horses into my life
that helped me lay down the groundwork for that
bumpy road of finding the courage to take my life
back.