trueCOWBOYmagazine Sept/Oct 2014 - Page 49

Spirit Of A Girl Bowen I had forgotten about stillness, present moment awareness, really trusting my intuition the way I knew it growing up in Montana and spending so much quiet time with nature. I had forgotten about observing, learning and experiencing a connection to the wildlife and the environment that inspired my knowing and recognition of myself. I forgot what mattered in life ensconced in the soul crushing daily grind of career politics and stretching myself so thin and saying “yes” because “I should”, that I breaking me down. I had forgotten about me. Something I didn’t even realize until the horses came into my life. But I will never forget sitting at the top of the hill in my truck, in the dark waiting for the headlights from a truck pulling a horse trailer to appear so I could lead us all to our new life. At the time, I didn’t fully understand the tears that erupted at the sight of those headlights but the fact that I allowed them to come was telling. I was holding the world on my shoulders and that didn’t allow much space for my emotions, I was too busy tending to everyone else’s. I knew I was stepping into uncharted territory, a purposeful part of my life’s journey. It has been said by more than one “expert” in the field of healing emotionally, spiritually and mentally that “we must heal what has been hurt in relationship within relationship. Most of the fears and roadblocks that keep us from loving and living our authentic lives are due to the damage we experienced somewhere in it. It was the chance arrival of the horses into my life that helped me lay down the groundwork for that bumpy road of finding the courage to take my life back.