And yet you had a sentimental attachment to
special furniture, jewelry, artwork, china and
ceramic ware, silverware and photos with
memories attached.
Your philosophy of life you expressed in words
like: “I don’t go for best but better,” and “Never
say if only,” and “Once you have broken the
first piece of china, it doesn’t hurt so bad to
break pieces in the future.”
ancestors were in Philadelphia in the 1700s
and they were prominent citizens, mostly
Quakers. Some were banished to Virginia
during the Revolutionary War because they
would not fight. They came to be known as
the Virginia Exiles. Some led a movement
to be kind to the Indians and some were
very active in the Abolitionist Movement.
Two were mayors of Philadelphia during
the 1770s and one of these was a friend
of Benjamin Franklin and a member of his
“Junta” (that’s what Franklin called it) a kind
of literary and inquiring small group.
Many ancestors came from England and
some of them were jailed there. In one
family line, the Cary’s, almost every man
is a knight and almost every one of their
wives is the daughter of a knight. There is
a town today called Cary Castle where the
Cary’s Castle was in the 1100s. I am also
descended from Charlemagne, King of
France in the 700s, actually from two of his
three sons.
I have been slow to recognize. One that
I saw only after I moved back to Texas
was your gift to each of your children
of wings to grow and become, even to
leave you and our home state of Texas.
You never complained that we left you
alone and lived so far from you. But when
I returned I saw what a gift it was to you
to have me closer and then I was able to
see how selflessly you had encouraged
whatever dream and adventure we each
had followed. In your absence other gifts
of yours are becoming more clear. You
would always walk me to the gate when
I left and wave me on as I drove off. I felt
your love accompany me as I left.
Life you gave me in love, gracious ways
you gave me in practice, wings you gave
me with sacrifice, opinions you gave me
freely, approval you gave me often, and
you modeled for me and others your
ability to see the benefits and ignore the
deficits in a situation. You had a concern
for the downtrodden and a big selfless
So there are many stories to tell, some
heart. You were an artist in the garden
gallant, some sad, some funny, some
and in your home. For many, you were
joyous. And I am on a journey, learning so
their model of simple living with a flare.
much history because I need to place these I would love to have your ability to tell
stories in a context.
a story with that captivating manner of
yours. Your agile mind came up with the
To my mother and friend, Mary Catherine
most amazing Scrabble word solves. You
Armstrong Gould Joseffy, Cathy, Cata,
had the ability to look into a situation,
Kitty, Army, Catarina, Mother, Mama,
determine what it needed and figure the
Grannie, Nana,
way to suggest what needed to happen
without ever seeming to be meddling at
Now you are gone yet your stories and
all. You valued people, animals and plant
presence remain with me, within me. Your
life more than the accumulation of things.
gifts to me are so many and some of them
If I showed up at your house when you were
in the middle of a show, you would turn the
TV off and entertain me. When your great
grandchildren visited, you brought out the
cookies and the ice cream bars. As they ate,
you taught them manners and regaled them
with your stories. These gifts I observed in
you and I aspire to. You kept the family alive
with your stories and with your “Rogue’s
Gallery” in your bedroom. There was not an
extra inch on those walls. To put up another
photo, you had to take one down!
I will try to continue some of your legacy,
Mother. I will write the family stories and
transcribe the letters. And blessed as I am to
have known and grown with you, I am hoping
to move from the dread-filled missing you to
the love-filled memories of you.
Your resistant but loving daughter,
Ann
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