indigo. We both survived rough childhoods that haven’t held us back.
And we prefer to see the good in people, prefer to trust and be betrayed
than live life suspicious of everyone.
It was late when we finally wrapped things up, and parted warmly. Hailey invited us out to Texas, and Eric and I were quick to agree. On the
long car ride home, Eric asked me how I felt about the whole thing, and
it was too big of an experience to quickly find a one-line answer, but it
came to me later as I journaled just this; “Louis, I think this is the start of
a beautiful friendship.”
Much has happened over the ensuing fourteen years. The friendship
one who raised you.”
Hearing those words from her surprised me, and the fact that she would
protect Florence’s pre-emptive place in my heart gave me my first indication that I was dealing with a woman of great honor. And for the first
time, I thought it might not be a bad thing to look like this woman. As
long as she was like, a hundred times better-looking than me.
Barbara’s husband Hailey met Eric and I in the lobby. He gave us the
full-blown Texas welcome; “How the hell are ya?! We’ve sure been
missin’ on you! Come on in, Barbara’s waitin’ for us in the suite.”
The pathway seemed to go on forever as I clattered along in my pumps,
feeling too hot in my red wool blazer but needing it around me like a
toddler’s blankey. To make matters worse, Hailey and Eric were yukking
it up, instant friends, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was on my
own personal Bataan death march. The answers to twenty-seven years of
questions lay just feet in front of me.
And then the door opened, and sitting in the picture window was a vision. I stumbled in as Eric gasped, “Oh my God!” I knew what he was
thinking. She looks just like you.
Yet how could this be? Barbara rose to her feet and I realized, “Oh my
goodness, she’s a little thing!” She floated across the room and I felt like
applauding as I galumphed in. Her other-worldly green eyes looked into
my brown ones and I thought, “why didn’t I inherit those?!” But as the
evening progressed, the likenesses betrayed themselves.
Hailey remarked on the way Barbara and I tilt our head when listening,
and though I couldn’t see it, he said we were both “feminine women.”
Next to the dainty, refined and beautiful Barbara, I felt like Elizabethzilla, but I said thank you anyway. From there the commonalities became more significant. Our brains process information similarly; when
I want to explain something, I immediately default into analogy, as does
Barbara. Neither of us can abide abstract art or architecture, being more
“Gilded Age” girls. Her favorite color is purple, mine is the close cousin
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has grown into something more on its own, forged by hours-long phone
conversations and the shared highs and lows of life. Barbara was present
for the birth of my son, Trevor, and arrived shortly after the birth of my
daughter Lindsey. I have held Barbara’s hand at two funerals; one for her
beloved mentor DeDe, and one for dear Hailey, the man who welcomed
me with open arms, even though I was another man’s child. We’ve
shared weddings, runs to the emergency room, vacations, piano recitals,
birthdays and really bad chick flicks.
What began as a desperate quest for ancestry has become ... a motherdaughter relationship. As a Mom now myself, I ca n see clearly that
loving Barbara in no way dishonors my real Mom Florence. On the
contrary, it continues that tradition that began with Florence and my
first skinned knee. Trusting that someone will be there with a kiss and a
band-aid. That no matter how many people tell you that you’re just asking for trouble, trust your heart and knock on that door. It led me to open
my heart to my wonderful step-Mom Carla (but that’s another story), and
then to my wonderful birth-Mom, Barbara.
None of that would have been possible if Florence had not raised me to
love, trust and embrace the adventure that is life.
Fredericksburg Texas Woman, is proud to announce the on-going column titled;
“mothers and daughters.” It will be in the format of a question and answer column.
We invite anyone who has an experience they would like to share with these two
women, to write in or e-mail. This magazine stands for the transparency of the heart,
and encourages all people to share their own personal stories. Together. We can find
our strength through, truth, love, and compassionate courage.
May God bless these two women. As they continue their journey together, in this
experience, we call ...Life.
Woman
TEXAS
FREDERICKSBURG
www.fbgwoman.com