TRACES SPRING 2016 - Page 84

Being A Twin

By Susie Surmacz

People can say a multitude of proclamations throughout one week or even day. One thing that I hear often enough relates to me more than anything; I wish I was a twin. Non-twins speak it as if it was what they wanted most in life. They act jealous of the fact that you are a twin and they are not. However, being a twin is not as magical as everyone imagines it would be. As a twin myself, I know the pains that come with having a "double," and the pains are more annoying than anything.

The bottom line is, being a twin can be awful. The worst part about it is that since there are two of you, you are never looked at as individuals, and studies have proven that the majority of twins agree to this claim. It is always “the twins” or “the girls/boys.” People need to recognize that there are two people, not a collective person. As a twin growing up, you do not ever really learn the “I” stage of development. You only know the “we” stage, which can cause you to view yourselves as one person instead of two. Also, you never get to do what you want to do. For example, if your twin is going to the movies with your friends (since you probably have basically the same friends), it makes you feel obliged to go to the movies as well, even if you did not want to go. It would make you look like a bad friend if your twin went and you didn’t, right? The idea of being your own person is neglected as a twin, and sometimes people take advantage of that too, as in the case above.

Another huge problem that comes along with being a twin is that often, each twin compares themselves to their counterpart. According to studies, it is most often in areas such as height, weight, and overall appearance. You are always with your twin, so it would be hard not to compare yourself to the other person when you see them everyday. This could potentially be a major issue because one twin could look at the other and feel self conscious because although their twin may be only four pounds lighter, they could think that they need to lose weight so they can be just as acceptable as their brother or sister. In addition, twins like myself look at the other one’s health problems and see who received the worse end of the deal. As the younger child, you are more likely to be the one to have the health issues. I know this firsthand. I have every health problem between the two of us, meaning my twin has none. I find myself constantly wishing we could trade places so I would not have to deal with