"Heaven is Too Far Away" by Sabrina DeFeo
I always cheated on him- always, without fail. It was sometimes hard not to go and flirt with others while he was away. It gave me time to stop thinking of what happened and start just letting go of reality for a couple seconds. However, I always ended up crying on the side of my bed, begging for forgiveness from Mason.
Mason, my fiancé of two years. I still remember two years ago when he got on one knee and asked, "Will you marry me?” It was the best moment of my life when we got engaged and how I loved it so. The memory of that moment is strong and unforgettable.
Then, a year ago, I started cheating on him. It at first was just one guy then it turned into an addiction. However, I always apologized and he always forgave me, unconditionally. I always felt like he understood why I did it but, even when he understood, it still wasn't right to cheat on him.
It was just too painful to stop and then having to find a way to cope with everything.
I remember coming home with the first guy, Mason wasn't mad at all. Truth be told I think he was even in the same room as the stranger and I. I felt so bad for torturing him like that but never did I fail to hear those whispers of; it's ok, I understand, you're OK.
He had to be lying; I wasn't OK and neither was what I had done.
How could he understand and be so loving at the same time? It was unusual and weird. I had no idea if he understood the situation or not. I certainly didn't but Mason was always there for me. Even now when he is the farthest away, he can put me to bed and hold when I need it.
However, sometimes, Heaven is just too far away.
I wish I could call him and see how he is doing but there isn't a telephone to Heaven. But, I always get him to see him every night; every night I have a guy he is there to help me through it.
I miss him a lot and I still remember when he left. It was a summer day in July and he was driving home from work. I walked outside to greet him but here came a black truck colliding with his car. Tears arose as I thought only vaguely of that moment. It was hard and I couldn't stop myself from mourning his death over and over.
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