practicing
People’s attitudes to disability, and the lack
of proper access to buildings, transport and
housing options are re-contextualised by the
social model of disability as inherently social
issues.
Consequently, I would no longer see a
flight of stairs and think I wish I could
walk; I would see them and question why
the architect wasn’t required to provide
access, and what I could do to advocate for
change. I began to feel connected to other
people with disabilities, to see our shared
experiences and not feel so alone. This
shift in perspective from disability being
an individual problem to a social issue was
huge and powerful.
“
I was now proud of my disability,
proud to belong to the disability rights
movement, proud to have this different
and unique body.
”
Exploring my sexuality was key to me
learning to feel proud and connected to my
body.
Sex and disability - say these two words
and people get uncomfortable but it’s time
to talk about it. Sexual expression and
exploration is something people without
disabilities often take for granted, but
for people with disabilities it is a site of
profound disadvantage in our lives.
I could tell you about studies showing that
people don't view us as desirable sexual
partners or give you some horrendous stats
on sexual abuse of women with disability,
or that the majority of abusers are those
known to us; bringing this reality to light
and taking action is important, but we
also need to have another different type
of conversation about sex and disability.
One which situates it as about rights,
pleasure, desire, consent, learning how to
communicate yes as well as no, learning the
language of your body, proclaiming your
body as powerful and beautiful. Declaring
yourself as worthy, as desirable, as beautiful
and feeling proud of who you are takes
practice, lots of practice.
I will end by sharing some wise words from
two great women with disabilities: poet and
disability activist Laura Hershey, and the
late, great, Stella Young.
“You must remember fellow activist Laura
Hershey's words every day:
You get proud by practicing.
This is possibly the most important thing
anyone will ever tell you. The journey
towards disability pride is long, and hard,
and you have to practice every single day.
You get proud by practicing. Practice every
day. Other people can love you, but only you
can make you proud.’’ — Stella Young.
Jax Jacki Brown is a disability and LGBTIQ
rights activist, writer, public speaker, spoken
word performer and disability sex educator.
Her written work has appeared online for
Junkee, Daily Life, the Drum Open and in
print for Archer Magazine: The Australian
Journal for Sexual Diversity, Queer Disability
Anthology (2015) and Doing It: Women Tell
the Truth About Great Sex (2016). You can
follow her on twitter @jaxjackibrown
Touchstone Summer 2016
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