feeds a downwards spiral of less
and less touch and even less toucheducation. The only thing is that the
inappropriate touch comes from
an innate need to be touched. By
no means am I condoning the act
of inappropriate touch. Instead,
what I’m suggesting is that rather
than avoiding touch out of fear
for what could happen, we should
seek and practice compassionate
touch. We should also begin to
educate our children on how to
touch – they’re the next generation
of touchers!
Here are 3 really useful tools to
help you practice positive-touch
training/development with your
children:
1
Permission – it’s really important in the present day to ask permission and
to be given permission to touch. From a young age, permission instills strong
values of respect, and helps kids to understand that they have the power
and right to refuse if they are uncomfortable. A simple “can I have a hug?” is
often a great way to ask permission. The most important part about permission
is to listen to the response. As adults we can often have a tough time with
perceived ‘rejection’. Know that it’s not your place to steal a hug if one is not
wanted – don’t take it personally if a child says no. Hugs with permission are
the only ones worth having anyway!
2
Hugs are the best starting point. They are [hopefully] full of positive and
loving intention. Yes, there will be the odd creep, but step 1 should usually
highlight who they are. Kids don’t generally like to hug abusers – they know.
Trust their instincts. When you approach a positive, love-felt hug, embrace
fully and without reserve. If you don’t hold back, neither will your child.
3
Take a massage lesson from your local massage therapist! Seriously! Learn
how to skillfully touch your children to calm them down and to help them
through times of discomfort (like after that hockey or soccer match…). Mostly
your massage professionals in the area will be happy to help and will teach
you a few simple techniques to use. Get your kids used to massage early in
life, and build your own touch-skills at the same time.
I hope we can create a new generation of young people who are using
touch as a positive social value.
Drew.