Tikkun Winter 2019 (34.1) - Page 52

We must aim as individuals to live as if the world of our dreams is already here. generation. We are, finally, at risk of losing the biology of love altogether. According to Maturana and Verden-Zoller: “love is fading away from the spontaneous world of the child.” Following the spontaneous unfolding no longer supports the biology of love; its continuation now requires conscious choice, based on active reflection. We are reaching the end of the road. It’s time for collective transformation, and parents are key. REINTEGRATION: HEALING AND TRANSFORMATION FOR PARENTS What else can we do if we are aware that “The history of human beings is carried by children, 52 W W W .T I K K U N . O R G not by adults” and that, therefore, “human lov- ingness will be conserved or lost through the upbringing of the children”? 9 The paradox we live in is that we are creatures that need love in order to give love, and we have created the worst conditions for anyone to be able to receive consistent love. Somehow, we need to find a way to bootstrap ourselves despite this difficulty. How else will we find, quickly enough, a way to infuse enough love at enough levels to make our children’s lives more whole? As Alice Miller’s own life illus- trates, being a champion of children is not in and of itself enough: her son’s account of her life and her mothering clearly shows she never fully succeeded in freeing herself from her own legacy sufficiently to raise him in line with her WINTER 2019