Thunder Roads Magazine of Oklahoma/Arkansas September 2014 | Page 38

BIG BEAR JOHNSON is on his deathbed and knows
the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and
two sons, are with him in the hospital room. He asks
for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in
place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready
he begins to speak: My son, “Bernie, I want you to take
the Mayfair houses.” My daughter “Sybil, you take the
apartments over in the east end.” My son, “Jamie, I want
you to take the offices over in the City Centre.”.. “Sarah,
my beloved wife, please take all the residential buildings
on the banks of the river.
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did
not realize his extensive holdings, and as Big Bear slips
away, the nurse says, “Mrs. Smith, your husband must
have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated
all this property”. Sarah replies, “Property ? .....the A-hole
had a paper route!”

A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how
you can be so stupid and beautiful all at the same time.
‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain. God made
me (beautiful) so you would be attracted to me; ( and
then ) God in his infinite wisdom, made me (stupid as
you put it) so I would be attracted to the likes of you!

A couple rode their bike down a country road for
several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion
had led to an argument and neither of them wanted
to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard
of jack \