A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop . The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage “ Hey Doc , want to take a look at this ?” The cardiologist , a bit surprised , walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle . The mechanic straightened up , wiped his hands on a rag and said , “ So Doc , look at this engine . I open its heart , take the valves out , repair any damage , and then put them back in , and when I finish , it works just like new . So how come I make $ 39,675 a year , a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks ( 500 mil a year + bonuses & perks ) when you and I are doing basically the same work ?” The cardiologist paused , smiled and leaned over , then whispered to the mechanic ….. “ Try doing it with the engine running .” -------------------------------------------------------------- This bill collector had been calling Rhino for several months and he eventually had to block him . But one day he called from a different number and Rhino answered the phone and the collector said ; “ Do you know as of today your outstanding bill is one year old ?” Rhino said , “ Really ? Tell it Happy Birthday !” and hung up . ------------------------------------------------------------ How come we choose from just two people to run for President but over fifty for Miss America ? -------------------------------------------------------------- When I was young we used to go ‘ skinny dipping .’ Now I just ‘ chunky dunk .’ --------------------------------------------------------------- WHY are they called apartments when they are all stuck together ? --------------------------------------------------------------- WHY if flying is supposedly so safe , do they call the airport the terminal ? --------------------------------------------------------------- WHY is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour ? --------------------------------------------------------------- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool . --------------------------------------------------------------- What ’ s blue and covered with feathers ? A turkey hiding from a hunter holding its ’ breath . --------------------------------------------------------------- What do you get when you cross a turkey w an octopus ? Finally , enough drumsticks ! ---------------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell when a Gold Wing rider is having an affair ? His helmet doesn ’ t match the passengers .
A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed . They couldn ’ t do it while he waited , so he said he didn ’ t live far and would just walk home . On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil . He stopped by the feed store / livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose . However , struggling outside the store he now had a problem : how to carry all of his purchases home . While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost . She asked , “ Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?” The biker said , “ Well , as a matter of fact , I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane . I would walk you home but I can ’ t carry this lot .” The old lady suggested , “ Why don ’ t you put the anvil in the bucket , carry the bucket in one hand , put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in the other hand ?” “ Why thank you very much ,” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home . On the way he says , “ Let ’ s take my shortcut and go down this alley . We ’ ll be there in no time .” The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said , “ I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me . How do I know that when we get in the alley you won ’ t hold me up against the wall , pull up my skirt , and ravish me ?” The biker said , “ Holy smokes lady ! I am carrying a bucket , an anvil , two chickens and a goose . How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that ?” The lady replied , “ Set the goose down , cover him with the bucket , put the anvil on top of the bucket and I ’ ll hold the chickens .” ( Hey , old broads get horny too !) --------------------------------------------------------------- Two turkeys are standing in their pen shootin ’ the chit when one says “ what ’ s up w / Ed ? I saw that Farmer guy chase him all around and then put him up under his arm and walk off with him . The other turkey says , “ I think he ’ s going to the dentist . Heard Farmer say something about stuffing his cavity .” --------------------------------------------------------------- A woman is feeling totally in her “ Zen ” state of mind and says ; “ I love you ” Her husband says “ is that the wine talking ?” She seriously replies , “ I was talking to my wine ”. ---------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde and a brunette are in a car and the brunette mentions that Thanksgiving falls on a Friday next year . The blonde replies ; “ Wow , I hope it ’ s not Friday the 13th .” -------------------------------------------------------------- Two potatoes are standing on a corner . How do you tell which one is the prostitute ? Easy . It ’ s the one with the tat that reads : Idaho
www . thunderroadslams . com | November 2017 | Thunder Roads Magazine Louisiana / Mississippi 25