Thunder Roads LA Magazine July 2017 - Page 34

32 Thunder Roads Magazine Louisiana | July 2017 | A man goes into a restaurant where all the wait- resses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, “What would you like, sir?” He looks at the menu, scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, and then answers, “A quickie.” The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, “What would you like, sir?” Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, “A quickie, please.” This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding SMACK! and storms away. A man sitting at the next table then leans over and whispers, “Um, I think it’s pronounced ‘quiche.’” -------------------------------------------------------------- As a new, young MD doing his residency in OBGYN I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. A very attractive young lady in her early 30’s whom I was performing this exam on suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said...’I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?’ She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard ... ‘No doctor but the song you were whistling was... I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’ -------------------------------------------------------------- Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Vǐagra?” Grandpa looks at him and says, “No Johnny, I will not.” “But Grandpa, why?” asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies, “Because there is no sense in put- ting lead in your pencil if you have no one to write to.” -------------------------------------------------------------- A New York attorney representing a wealthy art col- lector called and spoke to his client, “Saul, I have some good news and some bad news.” I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million and I think she could be right.” Saul replied enthusiastically, “Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You’ve just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?” The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you with your Personal Assistant. I was standing at the bar at th