“ Rhino ” woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a confirmed sexual predator living in the neighborhood sneaking through his next door neighbor ’ s garden .
Suddenly his neighbor came out from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel , killing him instantly . He then began to dig a grave with the shovel . He went back to bed contemplating what he was going to do about this .
His wife said , “ honey you ’ re shaking , what ’ s wrong ?”
Totally astonished Rhino said ‘ You ’ ll never believe what I ’ ve just seen ’ that bastard next door doing ….. he still has my f *** ing shovel ”!
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Dezi was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her husband ;
Lanny , walked up and asked her what they were having for supper .
Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air-conditioned house while she labored away on the weeds , Dezi answered , “ I can ’ t believe you ’ re
asking me about supper right now ! Pretend I ’ m out of town , go inside and make supper yourself !”
So Lanny went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak , potatoes , garlic bread , and a tall beer .
Dezi walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked , “ Where ’ s my dinner ?” “ Wth ? I thought you were out of town .” ______________________________________________________
A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the university . “ I feel it ’ s my duty to provide you with the best possible education . You do not owe me anything for that . However , I want you to appreciate it . As a gesture of appreciation , please each put $ 1,000 into my coffin when I die .”
And so it happened . His sons became a doctor , a lawyer and a financial planner , each very successful financially . When their father ’ s time had come and they saw their father in the coffin , they remembered his wish .
First , it was the doctor who put ten $ 100 bills onto the chest of the deceased .
Then , came the financial planner , who also placed $ 1,000 there . Finally , it was the heartbroken lawyer ’ s turn . He dipped into his pocket , took out his check book , wrote a check for $ 3,000 , put it into his father ’ s coffin , and took the $ 2,000 cash .
He later went on to become a politician . ________________________________________________
This is the story of the young female student flying in a two seated airplane with just the pilot . He has a heart attack and dies . She , frantic , grabs the mike and calls out a frantic May Day .
“ May Day ! May Day ! Help me ! Help me ! The pilot has had a heart attack and is dead and I don ’ t know how to fly .
Someone help me ! Please help me !”
She then hears a voice on the radio saying : “ This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear . I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground . I ’ ve had a lot of experience with this kind of problem . Now , just take a deep breath , stay calm and everything will be fine ! Now give me your height and position .”
She then says : “ I ’ m 5 ’ 4 ” and I support Brad Pitt for President ” “ O . K .” says the voice on the radio , Repeat after me : “ Our Father , Who art in Heaven ” www . thunderroadscolorado . com June 2016 Thunder Roads Magazine ® Colorado 33