THRIVING Melanin Family Magazine September 2018 | Page 62

Unpacking the Layers women are light years ahead of men. My ability to love has taken years to understand and learning something incorrectly are two totally different things.  One leads directly to application and success, the other to apologies and revisions. Love is complicated.  It is not one thing or another. Shantuan’s first love was her father therefore it was a We are polar opposites. We hope to share a glimpse smooth process for her as he taught her how a of our observations on, “how our love is".  Make a gentleman acts and what love should look and feel. mental note that opposites attract. Love is fun yet complicated. According to Mara Akil, writer of “Girlfriends” and “Being Mary Jane”. Also producer and director of the Timothy is not what I pictured in my dreams as ideal, hit TV show, “Love is” states, “Love is not what is and definitely not what I had written on paper. He planned but Love just Is”.   has a unique style with intelligent conversation, and a roughneck edge that excites the thrill seeker in me. I am the debutante and he is the “DFW” brother, Angie Stone referenced. He has an off the cuff, let life flow personality that compliments my orderly, follow the letter to the tee mind-set. Any disagreements we encounter are usually due to our complete opposite perspectives in communicating. Once we unpack the layers and place it all on the table, we began to examine it so we can easily get to resolution. Now, Shantuan is right about love being a rollercoaster. I never hold on. Hands up, screaming at the top of my voice. You cannot be like that in a marriage. You have to hold on tight. Keep your hands around them, in a loving embrace, even when love appears not to be visible. Speak calmly, precisely, and always honestly. The truth doesn't hurt is a lie and the truth is not in the statement. Deceit will cripple your marriage because it brings distrust. Continue the Love Shantuan or Dr. Shantuan as she is often referred to was a debutante, an engineer, and an interior designer. She has always radiated an aura of In seeking love, we desire, we have decided to put sensuality. She is enigmatic and eclectic. the investment in for the return we expect. Work towards your mutual goals. Speak kindly even if you I've been enamored with her since I was a youngster don't feel like it. You can't conquer all the time, you in middle school. Our paths crossed back in the day have to be willing to compromise if you want to win and we went on to live separate lives. Life is nothing, with lasting love. It takes you both to design a if not a lesson.   relationship that benefits the marriage. Exchange beliefs that do not help you grow for those that will. I have always been a fast learner. One of my earliest    lessons was love hurts. You read that right, but that Marriage has taught one of us to compromise when was a lesson I learned from someone with no life has only taught to conquer. Marriage taught the knowledge of the subject they were teaching. I was other to find the love in a resolution because they misled. As a man I would open my home to you, my believe in solutions. As long as love has a will, there is wallet, but never my heart. In this aspect of life   a way to continue that love.   SEPTEMBER 2018 • THRIVE | 59