THRIVING Melanin Family Magazine November 2018 | Page 41

BY
TAMON PEARSON
WE NEED TO TALK
Many Black parents have had the
"police" talk. We explain that there
are certain ways that you act when
dealing with the police. We have
them with our boys AND with our
girls, and though there may be
differences between the rules for
each, the talks are necessary for
both. --no means no at ANY time, and you
stay in control at ALL times by
remembering that.
Many of us have also had the "sex"
talk. That's a given at a certain age,
even if you aren't 100%
comfortable with the topic. Again,
the topics may vary a bit with the
different sexes, but ultimately the
talks are necessary for both. It's time to have real talk about the
company they keep and the
activities they participate in; about
boundaries and personal space;
about the proper way to handle
rejection; and about keeping your
hands to yourself.
For many of us, however, it's time
to add to the talks. It's time to stop acting like
molestation and sexual assaults
haven't happened in our families--
and that they haven't affected the
ones that happened to. And it's time
to discuss these things WAY before
college and high school.
It's time to talk candidly with our
kids about rape; not only what our
daughters can do to avoid it, but
what our sons MUST do to avoid
being accused of it.
It's time to discuss arousal and
consent--and how the two are not
synonymous. It's time to discuss
drinking, marijuana, and poor
decision making. It's time to insist
to our sons that it doesn't matter
what women wear, how women
act, or what women do
It's time to stop thinking that just
because our kids are shy or they
attend church or make straight A's or
are "good" kids that they don't think
about sex.
No issue ever got solved by
pretending that the issue didn't
exist. These issues have harmed our
community more than we want to
talk about, and that's crippling our
children.
It's time to talk about it. Seriously.
NOVEMBER
2018 • THRIVE | 39