Marlborough Magazine Feb 2018 | Page 12

12 Q & A LIFESTYLE & WELLBEING Q Q A a cunningham A Q I would love to join a book club. I have done in the past and I usually enjoy the social aspect and the group, but the literature is often boring so I give up on it. Hello Naya, I will be turning forty this year. I can’t seem to think of anything else. I haven’t achieved what I expected by this time in my life. Knowing I can never be young again is depressing me! You can turn things around. Whenever you catch yourselves commiserating, STOP, and re-shift your focus to something positive. Expand on that positivity by creating guidelines that will get you where you want to go. For example, another year another diet? Shift the focus to how you will start eating healthier. Your guidelines may be 3 things you can do to make your focus positive. 1) A salad everyday, that way you are getting fibre, vitamins and antioxidants. 2) Make water your main fluid. More water makes absolutely everything better. Try for 1 litre a day and increase. 3) Cut out the takeaways. Get rid of huge amounts of sugar, salt and additives that cause bloating and may take days to flush through your system. So what’s this got to do with turning 40? Basically, focus on things that empower you, and take your focus off the things you cannot change. There are so many great things about being forty and onward. mind and body therapy Why not start your own book club? Break away and do your own thing. Thrillers, Science-Fiction, Romance etc. Put out a few flyers. I’m sure there are like-minded people out there who are just waiting to get involved. My parents think that my older brother is perfect. He says all the right things and never seems to get the blame for anything. I always feel like it doesn’t matter what I do, mum and dad think he’s better than me. The worse thing is that he lies and never gets caught out. I’m 12. What should I do please? A Hmm, this is close to my heart. I know exactly what you mean. When I was 12 years old, I wanted to be a detective, specifically so I could prove that my brother was lying and cheating to make me look bad. In some ways, he is probably the person that created my interest in psychology! Try ignoring whatever he does. Work on perfecting your manners, and doing the things that are expected of you. Take a real interest in becoming a polite, naya cunningham kind, positive person. If there is an “incident” caused by your brother, do the opposite of what you used to do (didn’t work anyway!) and be calm - don’t scream your innocence and blame him. Take control of the situation by perhaps saying, “No I didn’t leave the milk out, but I’m happy to put it away if that helps”. At first it’ll be a bit strange, but hopefully, your parents will begin to see you in a positive light and your brother will not appear so perfect or right as much. Q A My daughter has finished Uni and her OE, and is on her way home. I am worried that she will find life boring. She had a difficult time in high school and going away was the best thing that ever happened for her. We always worry that our children are happy, but you are assuming the worst, so you need to stop and give your daughter the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure she has learned more than you realise. If she can navigate herself through Uni and an OE, she has more confidence and ability than you are giving her credit for. You are a good mum to care, but save your worry for when you need it. Start thinking of her return as exciting! mind and body concepts For further support call to make a confidential appointment with Naya Ph 579 5606 WWW.NAYACUNNINGHAM.COM aya cunningham mind and body therapy 24 with HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR LOCAL EXPERT? Email [email protected] or text 0274 262 447 and see Naya’s advice in the next issue. All correspondence is confidential. INTEREST FREE FINANCE Offer available 1-28 Feb 2018. Min purchase $1,999. Terms, conditions, fees & credit criteria apply. 29 High Street, Blenheim . (03) 578 7801 . [email protected] . TheSewingStore.co.nz