How did the family react?
”My Mother took it harder than anyone else, I did not say anything to my
daughters immediately, mostly because of my emotional state as well as I just
did not know how to. I had to work on my mother and have her pull back
some of the negative emotions which were fully on display; I understood how
she felt and I knew that it was mainly out of fear and an immense concern on
her part. It took me two days to compose myself but I did”.
The Surgery
“This was a very overwhelming part of the journey because I thought I had
time to digest all of what was happening seeing that it is was all new to me. I
was quickly brought back to reality when my doctor wanted to schedule the
surgery immediately, I am talking within days. I told him no, I needed some
time. This was in February so I was thinking in the summer I could (laughing)
but he quickly informed me no more than 3 weeks. During this time I began
to read and educate myself, I am not sure this was a good idea, the informa-
tion was overwhelming- some of it doom and gloom, you are going to die”.
Simone and students celebrating prize-giving.
The Spiritual side
“I spoke with persons I knew were strong spiritually and the support I got was
more than I could have hoped for, it was all positive. I remember a friend of
mine saying you are going to be okay and I hung on to that. My faith in God
played a huge part in this part of my journey and the most potent realisation
came through to me - that God places people in our lives for different reasons.
Some of these persons who have given me support were never in my life
before and they were my strongest towers. My takeaway is not to look for
angels anywhere but right before me. God put people around us to be there
for us when we need them and this was demonstrated in so many ways.
Teachers, parents including male parents, friends et al especially people who
I did not know”.
The Human Side
After my surgery I would have to go to a particular pharmacy to get my
chemotherapy medication and every time I visited this particular pharmacy I
felt depressed and I would usually cry (I no longer go, I now send for those
drugs). Once while I was there feeling overwhelmed, a lady came up to me, I
think she was also going through the same thing. I also believe she identified
with me because I opted to be fashionably bald (laughing) rather than to wear
a wig. So this lady comes up to me perhaps because she sees my emotional
state and she says you are going to be fine – Oh my goodness – the tears
started flowing like a river, I could not help myself, I think I needed that
cleansing. It was okay and it made me feel stronger”.
As we come to a close I had to get some last minute takeaways from Simone
specifically for women who are experiencing cancer and those who fear going
through this disease.
Evolve – Understand that this experience will birth a new you. I had locks
all the way down to my waist and I had to cut it all off. I remember my hair
dresser telling me not to worry because when my hair grows back she can
re-attach the old locks. I had to say why - that was the old me, that is gone
– this is the new me and I am accepting it. I embraced every aspect of the
journey into where I am today. Accept the new you, work with the new you
and most importantly love the new you.
Yield – “There have been so many lessons one of which is to just leave things
to God, to genuinely leave it. If I have done all I can and whatever is to be
done is not me in my control then I cannot and I should not worry about it”.
Simone and Paris Small a student from
her class.
Faith – “Sometimes it’s hard to make ends meet and the bills are piling up and I
just say okay girls if you are watching television and the cable goes off,
I did not pay the bill and my girls understands”.
Take care of you first – “They say you do not know how strong you are until you
are forced to be!” While I consider myself to be a strong woman this thing that
has happened made me realize I was being strong for others. When you are forced
into being strong for yourself it becomes difficult. When I found out I immedi-
ately thought about my kids and I began to worry until someone gave me a no
nonsense wakeup call which made me realize that if I take care of myself then
everything and everyone will be okay. I began the journey of being strong for me.
It is like when you get in an aeroplane and they begin their safety checks, they tell
you take care of you first then someone else. I had to do that”.
Two things I discovered while interviewing Simone.
Her weakness: I have so many (laughing), I love food, one of the things I had to
put aside is sugar, I am a sugar junkie and it has been hard (I cheat sometimes).
My midnight snack is usually something sweet. I love donuts.
Her favorite color and why: I love purple – it has always meant strength for me.
The people around me that I identify with for some reason bring a particular kind
of energy into my space. These are the people who I consider to be my strength
and when I think about them I often associate them with the color purple.
Page: - 21 - The Beyond Woman Magazine