example and a good example of a Christian. I have had to go through my process which at times was complete
chaos. There were times I felt like taking my life, calling it quits but instinctively, I have always held on to the
one thing “Do not worry Kerie, it’s going to be okay.”
Me: I believe if we ask others around us, there is that one line that he gives all of us to remind us that He is with
us.
Kiki: Yes I too believe that he gives us something to hold on to, something that is there tailormade for us to carry
us through.
Me: What parenting approach do you use with your children based on what you have been through?
Her face lights up as she begins to talk about her children.
Kiki: I had my first child in jail so I did not get the chance to raise my first son. I then had my second child out
of wedlock and it was unexpected, and a very confusing time for me. He is really my second child but first in
the sense that He was my first chance at really being a mother, it was a very rough time in my life. I was a single
mother and based on my job I was not able to work because no one wants to see a pregnant Kiki, I ballooned to
200lbs (laugh)
I was alone; I had to move out of where I was living because I could no longer afford it. God provided a blessing
and a friend of mine took me in and gave me her bedroom. When my son was born it was like trial and error for
me, I had no clue what I was doing but I was about to figure it out (Laughter).
Me: No support system from your mom?
Kiki: At that time, not really, I have been on my own since age 15 so it was baptism by fire. The things that they
do not put in the books that they should put in the books, is pretty much what I had to learn.
I made a lot of mistakes and he is the son that reminds me of me, he is the son that God gave me to heal me. He
is demanding, relentless, makes me want to tear my hair out at times and say “I cannot do this, but he is the son
that received the most honesty from me. He has the biggest heart and personifies tenacity – he is my “parry”,
“my ride or die”.
He knows that I am not perfect and expresses patience with me as much as I do with him. He understands that
I am working through a lot of stuff to be a better person and mother to him and I take responsibility for my
mistakes telling him not to take them personally because they have nothing to do with him and we go and grow
through life together with love. He is 10.
With my third son who is 7, I got the hang of being a mommy, I was able to step back and accept him for who
he is. I look at both of them and notice the differences in personality and temperament. I think it’s a major re-
sponsibility for parents to observe who their kids are and it is sad when we rob them of their God-given right to
be who they are supposed to be. I know I cannot do parenting alone, no amount of apologising or correcting can
help and so I need God and I allow Him to do His best.
Me: You mentioned earlier that there was a point where you felt you were the worst example of Christian be-
cause of the things you were still doing. Do you feel the same way now?
Kiki: In this moment I am where I am supposed to be, I have my moments of weakness but Am I where I was 3
years ago? Definitely not, but I am still a work in progress.
Page: - 14 - The Beyond Woman Magazine