2003.03.09 .
the living creatures . Then You took the woman out of me and brought her to me , and I saw myself in her , and she in me , and then I said : « She is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh and she will be called woman », and then I said : « Therefore , the man will leave his father and his mother and will join with his woman and they will be one flesh ». ( Gen . 2:23 , 24 ) Then I made You upset , because God was my Father and my mother and the spirit of evil came into being in me and the deceitful one heard me and said to the woman : “ Has really God said not to eat of all the trees of the garden ?” And she answered him saying that we could eat of all the trees except of the tree in the midst of the garden , lest we would die . Then she was answered : “ You will not surely die , and in the day you eat you will be like God knowing good and evil .” Since then the woman started longing after eating of the tree in order to receive knowledge and then she ate and knew , and then I also took and ate , and this is how the man ate of the tree of knowledge , Lord , and afterwards he saw himself naked and they were ashamed one from another and covered themselves with fig tree , and then they were afraid of God because of their disobedience by which they reasoned out the godly nature and they wanted to hide one from another and from God .
I stand before You with my sin , my Creator . I tell to man that it is not good for him to be alone . And I tell the man as You also told him , that Your word is good and my word is wicked ; it is wicked because it is not Your word . I repent of my sin from the garden , for I said by my word that « the man will leave his father and his mother and will join with his wife and they will be one flesh ». I gave up obedience to You , my Creator , and I listened to the woman and I ate of the tree of the knowledge and in this way I knew that I was naked . I was ashamed of my nakedness , for my spirit knew the good and the evil , which entered my being after I came to know , and I did no longer work the love , which would have made me turn to You again , and which would have helped me to humble before You because of my disobedience , and then fear seized my being and made me hide . And because I wanted to hide , I made You upset and I hurt You because of my life , which fell from the garden of obedience , for I did not want to listen to You afterwards . Oh , how well would have been with me and with You if I had humbled myself then before You because of my wrongdoing , my Creator ! But I was joined to my woman and I did not listen to You to choose You again then as my Father and to listen to You in such a way that Your creation could not die . It was I , myself , that I made haste of my getting out of the garden , for my haughtiness stood against me and I lost my happiness and I found pain instead . However , You are the Comforter , the Merciful , and You have given me life again , and You said that the one who humbles will be exalted , Lord .
You took Your last sons for me to see their humility by which they bowed to You to listen to You after seven years of the man ’ s disobedience and through them to give Your hand to the dead so that they may get up , Lord . And I look at them and say :
Oh , sons of God , here I am ! I stand before my Creator and before you . Behold the man that gave God ’ s will on his will . God cries and says that He cannot make the man do the Lord ’ s will , because the man is born out of me , the man who did his will giving up God ’ s will in him . The spirit of the free will is death upon man and this spirit is as old as seven thousand years .
I want to speak of what disobedience can do with the man . After the man makes use of it , he receives the spirit of discontent and he tries to set himself over another man with it , and this sin makes the two of them to hide it . If the Creator of the man saw this sin in man , He has dwelt on earth with the word of His knowledge , the One Who knows everything , for nothing can be hidden by the man before God , but everything is through the light instead .
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