The Well Magazine Spring 2013 - Page 8

Living Well Healing from Self-Hatred She believed lies about herself until she found healing in God’s Truth ord help me. I live with this deep-seated inner hate for myself that manifests every time I experience failure or rejection. Father, in the name of Jesus I look to You to help me; I keep failing to measure up. I really do need You Lord and I need the power of Your Holy Spirit to enable me to cast out this demon of self-hate. This is a prayer I wrote after experiencing a setback. Many of us have been bamboozled, hoodwinked and duped into believing lies about ourselves from the enemy of our souls, the Devil, without even realizing it. I used to think that when I heard these negative words coming up from myself that it was me, but I have come to discover that they are suggestive thoughts from the enemy using my voice as a channel and once I open the door through acceptance these negative voices take residence. For most of my life I have struggled with self-loathing or self-hatred. You may ask how can anyone hate themselves but it is a very real problem that stems from internal damage to the selfesteem and lack of self-worth. I know the damage took place at an early age and has shown itself into adulthood. I also know that at the root of self-loathing is rejection. As a child I was teased, for being overweight, couple that with family dynamics which included divorce; both caused me to be deeply wounded with a sense of emotional abandonment. Sociology teaches us that a child’s identity starts at home with the family and as a child develops their Y\ [[][]H^HH][H[ܛX][ۋ\ۙHو^Hٙ\ܜY[[[\8'\HX[^[ܘ\\H۝\H[XY^[K[ L‚H]\H[ܙB][ۈ\\[Y[]HܛX][ۋ'HYH\ۈ[][Y[^\Y[\][XH[ۙH^K]]H\\ۜHو]]HZ] Y[YZ[ܘ[Y[ H[XYH\Z[]\[HX[HHو[Y\Y[KH[Hܚ][\XH[YHۈ^H[Z[H܈[][]H]HHHXۚ^HH\و\X\[[[\HH[8&\Y[]KH\و\X\[[[[H[[Z\ Y][\K\H\[^H[ Z[ [[[[[ۜH\H]\\Y]H\H[[YH]ܙܙ]^HX[^[ܘ\]H[YHYۜY\][ ]X]\Hو] HYYYH^\[Y\[KH[ۙ\H^H]\؛[H\[\XY]\H\XHو^HYH[ۙHوH\X[X[Y\][ۜو]\^HZY [HX\\\[HYZ][ܘ[؛[\ˈ]\[XZ][[[[[YHܚY]H\^\Y[[^H\H\[\HYˈ[[Yܝ[ݙKX\[H[\ݘ[HX[YHH[HX\\[H[&]X\HHHHHYX\[KH]X]Y[Y\\\[ۋ[Z]Y[[Z[^\[\]][\ٝ[Z\[\\YHZ[[H܈][YX[][ۙ]܈]X[HY[H\\8'H]'HX]\HHY][ \H۝[YY[^H[[Y[YX\H]H[\X[^H\Y\[YX\[[][ۜ\ˈH\H]XX[[HXYY]HXX[HZ[[]X\YZ[H^\Y[Y]X[^HYH]YYH[H[Y]Y]^H[YH\\Yۈ\HHܚY Hۙ]H]HH\YY ܈][HX[[^HYBH[HX\[[X]HH[H[\[ݙHYH[HX[H^K