The Well Magazine Spring 2013 - Page 7

bally sparring, cussing and fussing. Daily, every bit of life was slipping from me. All of the hurt and pain I experienced in my youth was now manifesting in my adult life. I decided to see a clinical therapist and she diagnosed me with depression. I declined to take anti-depressants because I was this, "Strong Black Woman.” But I did participate in therapy sessions. By the grace of God, it helped. I knew I had to leave Kansas City. I was trapped, I was depressed, I was unhappy. I could move back home, but I didn’t want to move back to southeast Missouri and southern Illinois after living the city life. I also didn’t want to be another statistic— black, single mother. My flesh wanted to stay because of the material wealth, but my spirit wanted to leave. In my spirit I knew my son’s father was sleeping with another woman, but HY]H[HًH\ۙ]ˈۙHY^H[[KYX\Y\[ݚ[[\]KHXZ]YHXYH[HXZ[]X\\و^H۸&\]\&\Y[ˈ[H\HYK[Y][ۈHHXZ]YHXH]H[ ]ܚ][HHH]YH]ZY^HYY[X\YY܈YZˈH[[YYX][HXYHH[^H۸&\]\[\Y[HYHY[X\YYX]\HHYXZ]Y\Y[X\\[HXZ[ \\ۜNHY[H[^HXZ[Ȉ[YZY HXYHHX\[ۈX]H]\][HY[YHY][ HY[و^H\\ˈHXZ]YH]\] N KH KH\XYۈ^H^HYH]\[[\ˈHYXXY[[ ][YH[]\[H[YYKH\]\ZXY[H\[YY][ZHYH] [[H[XY[HHܚYY]]\[ [H] 8'\\x'H[HܚYY]\\HXYHH]\X]H[HYZ[HXYHH[^\ݙH[KH\Y[Hܙ]HYKH\Y][[\]H]^X[KH][\H]\ H\YXYHܙ \XHܙ X]Hܙ[Y\Hܙ \[YKH[Y[HH\\ˈH[Yۛ[H܈^\[\\\ܙY\[][ۜ\ \Y[\[Y H\Y][H\ۘ[[][ۜ\][K[Y][[\[[KHX[YH^H][܋^HX[\^H[]\\^HK^HK^HXXK^HݙK^H]\][ˈ]\[YH[^HYH\\\HۛHۙH[[]HYH]HۙY܈[]\[Y[\]Y[ۙ][ۘ[ݙK8%HX[[ˈ[^HYHHY\YY\[]BY\HݙH܈\X]Y]ݙK[و^HYHHY]HYYYHX[]KݙK\]K[\YHYK\\X[YYH[[]\YYHH8'YY[HX['H[YKHY\\H܈^ ][X\XYK^HܙX]\\\H\ۛ[ܙHX]\\[[[YH]\\ˈH[[ݙH]\\[^HYH\Y[H[YKY\H[]Hۈ^\[][X\ۜ]H۸&]]\]HܜHX][[ۙHݚ[YHX]\Hx&]H[Y[ۙH[^\[ H]\[YB\\X[YYH\[]HYHH]\ H[HHYH\[[۞Hو\ܘXH[Y\K^HYH\Y[[ٛܛYY[]\]\Y[H[YK[ HX\Y^H[XX[XXH[[]\[H[ۛ܋[H[[Y H[X]\\\Y^HYKH[]HZ[YH][HXYYX]H[K\X]H[K[\XYH\H[KH[Y[YH]H\H][ H[\X]Y\[Y]\[]\H[HHYH[H\XYH[HH]YH[Y[ۋۙHو^H\Y[\H[[XX\\Y[[HZ[\H[HYY][و^HZY\XYH[H\\XۈH[ \H\HX[H\]HYY\XYKY][Y\H]^\[[\\ ۙ\[8'K\\H[[H]HYO'H][H[Y[X\]8&\H[و H[و\H\KH[Y]H]]HYوX H[Y]H]]\HX\و^HZ[H[Y]H]\H[X[\ۈ\H\]^HHX\[HKH[X[HZ[\\HX[Y[Y]H]^HYH]Y[HHܙZ[YHH\ܚX\[ۈY]\\\[YXZ \\[[[H[\K[Z\ MMYX\\ܞKH[\X\ [\Z[ [[\\\\H\[\X]HZ[\[ [\YH[H[\[\X܈وY[&\Z[\KH\H]]܈وX[ ܛYYܙ]\X[[\\K[\H]H[[H[HۙH[[\YH[\\H[ۛH][[H\ ]\[YK܈[ܙHX]\Z[\H˙[[]Y[Z[\Y\˘H[ LH[XY^[H ‚^HY\\\\H\ۛHۙH[ۛH][ HY[HX\[\]YYHۈH[\\Y]YH[Y[ۋ