The Well Magazine Spring 2013 - Page 27

Relationships Family At times it may seem as if you are suffocating with frustration, anger, sadness, loneliness, and depression. Come to terms with these feelings because self denial keeps us from growing. Don’t be shy about getting help through counseling. Do what you need to do to breathe so that you can overcome that feeling of suffocation. Learn to forgive to free yourself of internal bondage. Not forgiving keeps us from being where God needs us to be and to do what God needs us to do. For this reason, we need to stop holding on to past hurts. Honestly, how often have we taken this to the Lord and prayed about it, and released it? Are we being really truthful when we say we have released it to God? We hold onto so much hurt and pain we can’t seem to look to the future. So, we stagnate all the progress we tried to make toward healing and being whole. When we internalize this hurt we become stressed. We bring that stress to our children, our jobs, our friends, our ministries, and our church. We can’t emotionally support our children if we harbor bitterness or resentment in our heart toward the fathers of our children. So don’t focus on the struggle, focus on God. God is the author and finisher of everything. Some of us have allowed our struggles to cripple us for years. We’ve allowed it to consume us to the point where it can feel like a debilitating disease eating at our very core. For us to endure the struggles prayer will be essential. We have to be prepared to have a ready word in our hearts. We have to trust the word of the Lord will not come back to Him empty (Isaiah 55:11). Find a scripture that will help you endure your struggle. Pray for your children and pray for their fathers. Pray in faith knowing all things will work out for God’s glory. The following are excerpts from Enduring The Single Mother Struggle. For more information about the book, go to Replaying the Hurt If not for the Lord on our side, where would we be? It’s something to consider since single mothers have some very tough days. There are days when everything starts to fall apart and our children are acting up and being disrespectful. There are days when it feels like everything and everyone is against us. You spend your nights crying, wondering, Lord, why me? You keep replaying the past in your mind, wishing you could get that moment back to walk away from the relationship when you had the chance. Now you have a child to raise alone and there is no walking away from that. You asked yourself how you ended up with this man in the first place? Why does it seem as if he gets away without consequences while you endure the responsibility of taking care of your child? If you continue to replay the hurt, you will continue to ask these questions. Ask God to forgive you for your indiscretions and move on. Damika Davis is the founder of the Daughters Delivered by Grace Foundation which supports and encourages single mothers to pursue their dreams. Damika is a motivational speaker and the mother of a beautiful and vibrant little girl. For more information about the Daughters Delivered by Grace Foundation, go to Spring 2013/ The Well Magazine 27