The Well Magazine Spring 2013 - Page 15

The Unfailing Love of the Father By Katrinna Harris y the time I was 13, I was living on my own, living from house to house with whoever would take me in. By the age of 16, I had been raped three times and had tried to commit suicide three times. Abandoned and abused, I still knew there was more to life than what I was living. But I could not find it. I was still a giver and loved people. I just could not understand why I was born. I often wondered why I was alive. As a matter of fact, I longed for death thinking it would be a relief. I hated living because I could not see a good reason to live in my circumstances. I was not raised in a church and didn’t know about God the Father, his son Jesus or the Holy Spirit. I did not have or know anyone I could call on. Manipulated by friends and betrayed constantly, I just thought this was the way of life. That is until God decided one day to pursue me. Although my earthly father was not there, my heavenly father was always there. I consider it a miracle that God took the time to pursue me. I didn’t know what love was until I met the Father and experienced his love for me. B deeper in a hole. Up until this point my life was spiraling out of control and many others assumed the job of controlling me without any fight from me. I had no sense of freedom and at many times I didn’t even believe it was possible to be free. I had one thing going for me that proved to payoff, I had to the skills to do hair which provided finances for me to take care of myself. I remember the day God sent one of his servants on the streets of my hometown of McComb, Mississippi. It was hot and miserable outside that day, but this man had on a suit and looked completely different than us. He walked into the projects and I followed him. I followed a short ways back so he could not see me. I overheard him talking to a group of people about God and Jesus. He seemed to be very different and he also seemed to genuinely want to help people. At that moment something happened on the inside of me that I could not explain. I felt inspired and I whispered to myself , “Man, I really wish I could be like that one day, oh I really wish I could be like that.” I did not really understand what I was asking but I understood that I wanted to be different and that I wanted to help others. I had attempted to do that many times before but did not know how to truly help others or even what to say to others since I was doing some of the same things. Looking for Love I always looked for love, searching for it all the time. But I didn’t know what it looked like. My hurt and rejection created a needy person who longed to be loved. I gave away everything I had, including myself, thinking that if I gave, someone would finally love me. Instead of love, I found myself deeper and God’s Plan From that point on, there was an unsettling in me that I could not shake. For two years after that God was preparing CONTINUED ON PAGE 31 Spring 2013/ The Well Magazine 15