The VFMS Spark Winter Edition 2014-2015 | Page 73

1:41 and I scan the hallways

hoping to see your face

Nothing

It's curious

I barely see you anymore

Yet you're everywhere I look I see us in

the halls I'm standing in We're sitting

close together like we used to do all the

time my head on your shoulder

and your arm around me I wish I could

go back more than anything

2:33 and school is over

I exchanged one word with you

More than I usually get

I consider it a good day

6:20 and my homework remains

uncompleted I can't focus with the

heavy weight of you

I am foolish

I tell myself that someday

things will be the same as they used to

be

that maybe we can pretend

that nothing has changed since then

I knew those ridiculous thoughts

could only carry me so far

10:00 and I climb into bed

It's exhausting, missing you

My heavy eyelids slowly close

but I do not sleep

I reminisce about back

when I could talk to you openly

and you listened and cared

Just past midnight and I'm still awake

My pain becomes crushing

I need you

I love you

I have nothing if I don't have you

There's no hiding from it now

1:17 and I’m sobbing

A stream pouring over

my flushed red cheeks

It seems that all I ever do

when I’m by myself is cry

It's just all too real

I want to turn back and run

Avoid reality

But I cannot

2:05 and you've engulfed my mind

Sleepy eyes and a tired soul

But rest doesn't come

until it hesitantly creeps over me at

3:51 and I picture you beside me

your arms wrapped around my weak

body

You whisper in my ear

You say you're sorry about how things

have been lately

But nothing has changed, really

We're the same

It's not us that's different

Not the memories

Not the heartbreaking truth

It's what we still want

And what we've given up on

I can deal with a lot

You'd be surprised

what I have to live with

I just can’t live without you

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