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February 19, 2019 | The Valley Catholic
IN THE CHURCH
Couple’s Program for Newlyweds Helps Them Build Community, Tackle Issues
ST. PAUL, Minn. (CNS) – A decade
ago, David Busacker was a high school
sophomore looking for a way to fit in,
and he decided to give drama a try.
Had he made a different choice, he
might not have married Bridget Scott in
2016. The two found themselves on the
set of “Little Women” in 2009 at their
public high school, St. Anthony High
School in St. Anthony. She played Jo
March; he played her father. Near the
end of the performance, he made his
entrance and spun her on the stage.
“That’s when I fell in love with her,”
he said.
It took her longer to feel the same,
but eventually they started dating
while both were attending the Univer-
sity of Minnesota. During that time,
David became a Catholic, and the
couple got engaged in June 2015.
They eagerly dove into marriage
preparation at St. Charles Borromeo
in St. Anthony, Bridget’s childhood
parish. They absorbed everything they
could during their meetings with the
priest and mentor couples in the parish.
But they couldn’t get enough.
“The prep was good at St. Charles,
but we were looking for even more,”
said Bridget, 26. “I think we were, in
some ways, a little overzealous trying
to prepare so much, but I think we also
just wanted to make sure we were tap-
ping into all the resources.”
They turned to a program for en-
gaged couples at St. Mark in St. Paul.
March 22-24
April 12-14
They found their nine months in the
program so enriching that they joined
the parish after their wedding. A year
later, they started their own group for
newly married couples. They named it
after Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin, the
parents of St. Therese of Lisieux who
were canonized in 2015. They launched
it with four couples, and they hope to
add more newlyweds in the next year.
They liked the St. Mark marriage
preparation program because it con-
nected young engaged couples through
discussion and the “Beloved” video
series produced and distributed by the
Augustine Institute in Colorado, which
offers Catholic content on a variety of
topics, including marriage.
“It was really awesome,” Bridget
said of St. Mark’s engaged couples
program, which included four to five
other couples. “It was intimate. ... You
were really getting to know people,”
she told The Catholic Spirit, newspa-
per of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and
Minneapolis.
During that time, they were drawn
to the religious community Pro Ecclesia
Sancta (For the Holy Church) of priests,
brothers and sisters who serve St. Mark
Parish. They joined the community’s
lay movement, Catholic Advance. They
took part in retreats and weekly eucha-
ristic adoration. Eventually, they felt
a desire to give to other couples what
they had received spiritually.
As they discussed what that meant,
they acknowledged what they perceived
as a shortage of programs for newly-
weds in the Catholic Church. It was a
problem they felt called to address.
“There was a ton (of resources) avail-
able to us up to the minute we got mar-
ried,” David said. “Then, the minute
after we exchanged vows, it seemed to
us that there was nothing available.”
Bridget agreed. “There’s so much
emphasis on marriage prep,” she said.
“But, what are we doing once people
are married? What is there to offer
them to keep their marriages strong,
and offer resources when it is hard or
when you’re just trying to figure it out?”
At a fundamental level, they were
trying to understand what it means
for a husband and wife to, as the Bible
says, “become one flesh.”
“Both of us are fiercely independent
people,” David said. “We’re both ex-
tremely Type A, competitive people.”
As they wrestled with this question,
they had a growing desire to explore it
with other newly married couples. It
started with one couple they hung out
with after getting married. They often
would stay up talking until 2 a.m., with
deeper topics coming up near the end.
“When that would happen, we were
like, ‘This would be so cool to have
with other couples, too, and expand
it beyond just the four of us,’” Bridget
said. “At that point, we were married
probably about a year and really had
the desire in our hearts to get to know
other couples and have something
more formalized.”
As they developed their ideas, they
decided that meetings would take place
in the couples’ homes to cultivate hos-
pitality, which the Busackers believe
is lacking in contemporary culture. It
also would create a deeper connection
between the couples, which, hopefully,
would strengthen everyone’s mar-
riages. Their goal was simple: “Have
people in, live life together in the mess
of life,” Bridget said.
The couples meet twice a month
– first as couples, then as men and
women separately. So far, Bridget and
David have organized two six-month
programs – one in 2018 and another
that finished in January. In that pro-
gram, they watched and discussed
segments of the “Beloved” series and
thought that format worked best for the
participating couples.
“There were a lot of growing pains,
I think, in just growing in trust with
each other to get to the point of com-
fortably talking about different topics,”
Bridget said. “But, I think it’s been re-
ally cool. Two of the couples have had
kids (while) in our group, which was
really awesome. And, I think we’ve got-
ten really comfortable with each other
and continue growing in community
together, which is what we wanted.”
As they’ve developed the meetings’
format, they’ve also learned to allow
for flexibility.
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