tvc.dsj.org | December 11, 2018
COMMUNITY
7
Catholic Cemeteries: Grieving At Christmastime…Communally and Personally
By Kathy Fanger and
Candee Lucas
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted:
and those who are crushed in spirit he
saves.” Psalm 34:19
Communal Grief
How do we reach out to one another
in a communal time of need?
Devastating fires, gun violence,
persistent racism, military confl icts,
xenophobia, political strife and climate
change weigh heavily on us. Many
experience deep loss and grief. How
may we assist?
God walks with us in our suff ering.
God calls us to do the same for others.
How? With compassion and generosity.
With the recent disastrous fi res, thou-
sands of fi rst responders and caring
individuals continue to respond with
monetary donations, serving food, of-
fering shelter, clothing, conversation
and prayer. Think of small ways you
may off er hope as God’s instruments
of healing.
Personal Grief
If your loved one(s) died recently or
in years past, the holidays can be an
emotional roller coaster. While others
enjoy festive preparations, you may be
overwhelmed with feelings of sadness
and emptiness.
Emotional moments may catch
you by surprise. A Christmas song or
movie, a long-time holiday tradition,
can trigger grief. How do you cope?
“Could anyone possibly understand how
much I miss my parent, spouse, partner,
child, baby or friend?”
God Understands
Jesus experienced the depth of love,
suff ering and death. Emmanuel means
‘God is with us.’ God knows us inti-
mately and gives us peace.
Helpful Suggestions:
Plan ahead. Give yourself permis-
sion to let go of certain traditions, yet
don’t say, “I am doing nothing.” Instead,
do something, even if it’s hanging a
wreath on the door. Allow someone
else to host the holiday, or you may
choose to travel. Discuss ideas with
your family, including the children, so
that everyone has input.
Connect with loved ones. A visit,
meal, or phone conversation can help
during this holiday time. Remember
that each person grieves diff erently.
Find someone who will truly listen.
Express how you are feeling. If you feel
like crying, cry. It helps you physically
and emotionally, reducing stress and
anxiety. Allow your loved ones to see
you grieve, even children.
Catholic Cemeteries’ tree at Christmas in
the Park displays ornaments with hand-
written messages to deceased loved ones.
Look for tree number 833 on Market Street
near Natasha’s Attic.
Take time for you…to rest, refl ect,
pray. Watch a movie or curl up with a
good book. It’s okay to decline a social
invitation.
It’s also okay to enjoy an outing,
laugh and have fun.
Ask for support from relatives,
friends and neighbors. People often
want to help.
Cherish memories and pictures.
Write a letter to your loved one express-
ing what is in your heart-happy or sad.
Be honest.
Light a candle near treasured
photographs.
Off er a special grace or toast at your
holiday table. Invite those gathered to
share a memory. Tears and laughter can
be blessings and very healing.
Reach out to others. It takes the
focus off you. Make a phone call; visit
or invite a neighbor or friend to your
home. Volunteer at church, a soup
kitchen or charitable organization.
Make a donation in your loved one’s
honor.
Visit the cemetery, if nearby. Speak
and pray to your loved one.
Attend church services. The com-
munity, Word of God, music and Eu-
charist bring strength. The Sacrament
of Reconciliation off ers enormous heal-
ing and peace.
Be grateful to God for the many
blessings you have received, not for
what you lack. Give thanks for your
loved one(s). They were chosen spe-
cifi cally for you, to change your life
forever. Jesus promised to come back
for you and take you home. You will
be reunited with God and your loved
ones in heaven…forever.
Are you connected with the Diocese of San Jose?
Visit us online
www.dsj.org
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Diocese of San Jose
Follow us on Twitter
@DioceseSanJose
Follow us on Instagram
@DioceseSanJose
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