LETTER FROM
THE PRESIDENT
“Older than me; younger than me; older than me; younger than me.”
– from New Yorker cartoon. An aging man reading obits at breakfast, ticking them off to his wife
Ethics are “habits that lead to thriving.”
Ethics is the study of the way things ought
to be. Ethics are a central component of
any happy, healthy and mature life. Ethics
define who we are and give us identity. So
do obituaries.
Obituaries are an excellent way to set forth
a personal ethics audit. Obituaries are a great
reminder – it is never too late to be more
honest, fairer, more responsible, more
courageous and more loving.
Well-written obituaries can be works of
art. The lead sentence is critical. It sets the
tone, summing up the central characteristic
or accomplishment of the deceased. It grabs
your attention. You want to know more
about the individual.
The following, inspired by my friend Gary
Fernandes, will briefly summarize some
thoughts and prejudices into a few,
easy-to-follow rules to ensure the last words
you write will at least be well written and
4
hopefully, well appreciated.
1. Do not, under any circumstances, include
the phrases “died peacefully” or “after a long
and courageous battle with …” anywhere in
the obituary.
2. It is ok to say, “He or she died.” Other
euphemisms such as “ushered to the angels,
graduated to Phase II of God’s eternal plan”
cannot conceal the fact that we’re talking
about the fact that someone died.
3. Limit the survived by stuff. It is OK to
cite a spouse as well as surviving children.
Refrain from naming every grandkid,
nephew/niece, aunt/uncle.
4. You must say the cause of death. It’s
part of the legacy. Do not leave us guessing. If
you don’t say, the reader will guess, think the
worst and likely get it wrong. One of my
favorites is “Joe died after losing a battle with
the kind of things that just make our bodies
quit on us when we get on in years.”
5. Use humor. Humor is an important
part of life, and there’s no reason it
shouldn’t be included in death. For
example: “He was a daredevil all his life.
His last words were, ‘WATCH THIS!’”
6. Be truthful. After you’re gone it is time
to focus on the truth.
7. Be succinct. You can do a pretty good
job by crafting the three defining lines that
sum up the person’s life.
No eulogy ever praised one for the size of
their home, or how extravagantly they lived.
Many do mention individuals with
character: they share acts of kindness; a
listening ear, devotion to children. All are
the essence of a life well lived.
What are the three defining lines that
sum up your life?
Rowland K. Robinson
President
Baylor Health Care System Foundation
[email protected]