The Science Behind the Law of Attraction Magazine April, 2017 | Page 15

good enough for her and failing, the pressure inside broke forth like the cork from a champagne
bottle and it struck her in the face. Bam! Yes, I slapped my mother-in-law!
How many times have you said, ?I?ve had enough this!? only to realize you have no idea how you
are going to change it? This was me until the moment I slapped her because I learned what I was
capable of when under the influence of judgment. I told
myself I wanted peace with her but I couldn?t figure out how
to get it because my focus was on her and wanting her to
change and not on what I needed to change. The instant I
slapped her I finally understood what I needed to change.
What is judgment? Is it calling someone an ugly name? Is it
making fun of the way they look, act, or speak? No. These are
symptoms. Judgment isn?t something you do to another
person. It?s you believing you aren?t good enough, you?re not
significant, you don?t matter, condemning yourself and then
blaming another person for the pain you feel. Blame
projects responsibility away from yourself to alleviate the
pain but it doesn?t work.
What do you do to alleviate pain? You identify with labels. You compare yourself with others and
judge yourself as better than or less than, good or bad, inferior or
superior based upon your performance in a specific label or role.
You seek outside judgment to replace inner judgment to feel
better but it?s only temporary. It?s not sustainable.
The label ?daughter-in-law? bound me to my preconceived
expectations of my mother-in-law and me to hers and our
expectations were in conflict. I tried to meet hers so I could feel
accepted as part of the family, keep the peace, avoid
confrontation and uncomfortable family gatherings but I felt
internal conflict. I ended up unhappy, sick, and feeling like I couldn?t do anything right. I felt
worthless until:
Tip # 1: I lear ned Love d oesn?t label. Love doesn?t tell another person what to do, what to say or
how to be. Labels do that. I placed myself under the weight of a role I couldn?t perform. I wanted to
experience Love but to do that I needed to acknowledge what I was giving and receiving wasn?t
Love.
Tip # 2: I lear ned I A m Love. Love is something I Am, it?s not something I can give to someone or
take away. It?s not consumable like groceries in the refrigerator. If I believe it is, then I look to
others to give me what I think I lack and I try to give them what I think they lack. I even believe I
can do something to take Love away from them.
Tip # 3: I lear ned I can cr eat e chang e. I rel eased mysel f and my mot her-in-l aw f rom t he rol e I
expect ed each t o perf orm t o make t he ot her happy. I wanted her to accept me so I could feel like I
was good enough and she didn?t want me there at all. After I slapped her I stopped trying to be
what she wanted and I stopped expected her to be what I wanted. I refused to condemn myself for
what I did. I refused to blame her.
Page 15 - April , 2017