ragon
THE
P RTAL
September 2017
Page 5
Ecumenism on the
high seas
Snapdragon has had an ecumenical experience
I was standing
doing no harm to anybody near the prow of the liner – yes;
the Ordinary had asked me to do another stint as cruise Chaplain - murmuring as
he did so something obscure about how three more weeks in the Western Pacific might
keep me out of trouble – when I caught a whiff of that elusive and exclusive perfume
Radclyffe Hall.
I turned round, and it was indeed doesn’t happen at the Methodist Service. This is what
Marilyn, the Methodist Chaplain. is known as an Ecumenical Accord. Let’s shake hands
She had flared nostrils as of a stallion sensing battle. on it.”
She pawed the deck. I knew I was in for it.
I then broke off to watch the procession on the
“Why do you Catholics,” she snarled, “refuse to starboard side: an American aircraft carrier, the USS
accept our Methodist Communion Services? You’re so Trump, which had been badly holed in a collision
anti-Ecumenical.” I sighed. I really had been enjoying with a Philippino tramp steamer, was limping home
watching Mrs Silverbridge vamping the Deputy Purser. assisted by five Japanese tugs.
Now… I pulled myself together. With my usual
As we dipped our flag, our own band saluted our ally
winsome smile, I asked “What do you believe happens by breaking into a rendering of Rule Britannia; and
in a Methodist Communion Service?” “Happens?” just at this moment the Steward, whom I had trained,
she asked. “It’s obvious. We eat bread and drink non- brought me my mid-morning cocktail.
alcoholic wine as symbols of being in fellowship with
Jesus and with one another.”
A North Korean missile zoomed cheerfully overhead,
and off the port bow the Chinese were converting yet
“Right you are,” I replied. “I believe that what you say another minute atoll into a fortified concrete island.
is exactly what happens in a Methodist Communion Life seemed good.
Service. The Catholic Mass is totally different. Nobody
consumes bread or wine.”
But not for long. The awful woman had used the
intervening moments to regroup her forces. Her next
Down below on the Foredeck the Deputy Purser attack was, “Why don’t we just admit that we can’t
had tripped over a sunbathing German bishop while really know what God does in the Eucharist, and
edging nervously away from Mrs Silverbridge.
simply agree to regard our services as interchangeable?
That would be Ecumenical.”
“Whatever do you mean?” Marilyn enquired.
“Well”, I explained, “in the Catholic Mass the priest
I replied: “I do really know what happens at the
transubstantiates Bread and Wine into the Body and Mass; all your ideas about what is ecumenical seems
Blood of Christ, which he offers as a propitiatory to involve me having to drop my beliefs and to adopt
Sacrifice to God the Father. Then the faithful may yours.”
receive Christ, Body, Blood, Humanity and Divinity.
Is that what happens in your Methodist Communion
Then I had brilliant idea. “By the way,” I murmured,
Service?”
“I’m almost sure I saw Dolores [Marilyn’s favourite
chambermaid] looking for you. Try the stern.”
“Of course it isn’t,” she said.
She was off like a shot. I returned my attentio n to
“Well then,” I explained, “we’re in agreement, the Trump just as its space-age pumps discharged vast
aren’t we. I believe that what you say happens at the quantities of stolen Pacific back into the Ocean.
Methodist Service is what really does happen there;
and you agree that what happens at the Catholic Mass
And I savoured my cocktail.