ragon
THE
P RTAL
October 2018
Page 5
Kind Hearts & Coronets
Snapdragon vents frustration
W hat a
jolly time we Christians are having this summer and what better way to rally
the troops than to have our very own schism in the heart of the One Holy Catholic
and Orthodox Church. For those of you gripped by the scarcely believable goings on in
Europe and America and the melancholy roar of the tide going out through the midst of
what remains of the Anglican church, the news from Russia really ought to make you slump
to your knees in fervent prayer.
Whatever one says about the
Orthodox they have managed, by a
furious and obstinate devotion to that
which was and always will be, to hold
together whatever the devil has thrown at them and to
hold fast to the faith whatever ridiculous modernist
fad has drifted past them in the last thousand years.
The news from the Most Holy Synod of Russia is very
serious. The Patriarch will from henceforth not pray for
the Ecumenical Patriarch during the celebration of the
Divine Liturgy and there will be no more celebrations
involving priests or bishops who are in communion with
Constantinople. All co-operation between the Russian
church, and those who look to it, which is at least half
of the Orthodox in the world, and the Ecumenical
Patriarch, and those who look to him, will cease.
The reason this has happened now is that the church in
Constantinople is about to recognise as a self governing
independent church, rather more than half of the
Ukrainian church that does not accept the jurisdiction
of the Russian church. Since the Ecumenical Patriarch
has the power to issue the relevant decree, the Russian
church must break off relations, or as we Christians
put it cease to be in communion, so that the decree
has no effect in law. And that, dear readers, is schism.
The Russians claim not to have done any such thing
and charmingly promise the most violent reaction if
Constantinople goes ahead, but one way and another it
looks like Christendom has split again. How delighted
the devil must be.
Wales on their five year ad limina visit to Rome this
week can bring themselves to tell the Holy Father in
simple words that this nonsense has to stop.
Having had a lovely holiday from the Church of
England for ten long years I thought it was time to
poke my snout back inside it just to see how exciting it
all is with care in the community and money making
at the heart of everything it does. The good news is
that there is plenty of space in their churches because
no one seems to be going. In the USA church numbers
have dipped below half a million a week and dissecting
the latest figures from the CofE for 2016 it looks as
if Sunday numbers in parish churches, excluding
cathedrals, were then at about 700,000. With 16,000
churches, that gives an average of 44 each which
rather explains the general feeling of emptiness. The
other nice thing is that the dress sense of the clergy has
definitely improved because so many of them are now
real women: and, for much the same reason, the crisis
in clergy pay has abated.
Husbands bring much extra income to the table
and their middle aged wives top up the stipend with
their own pensions. No change in the theology, as
charmingly ignorant as ever. This week saw the Rt Revd
Rachel Treweek, who is Bishop of Gloucester, worrying
about describing God as “He”. Obviously the creeds are
a bit misleading here what with all those references to
One God, Father Son and Holy Ghost. Their synod is as
active as that of the Holy Russian Church in unwittingly
doing the work of the devil. Only in one sphere have
they upped their game: of the 17 appointments to the
Meanwhile, the news from Rome is that the bench of bishops and the ranks of the archdeacons in
church is to kowtow to the communist government the last four years, only two cannot accept the ministry
in Peking, abandon the Catholic church there and of woman bishops. One of the two must be the new
in overwhelmingly Christian Taiwan, and in a Archdeacon of Westminster but who the other is I
masterstroke of theological nothingness embrace really can’t begin to guess. What a lot of froth the
a really important creational covenant with the anglo-catholics mouthed over the years: talk about
manufacturers of paper cups. While the criminals and lines in the sand. Meanwhile Buzz Lightyear drones on
their protectors prepare to roast in hell, the church about the iniquities of capitalism as he launches task
can embrace greenery and the important business of force upon task force from the steps of Lambeth Palace.
saving whales. I wonder if the Bishops of England and
... continued on page 22 Ø