The Portal March 2019 | Page 5

ragon THE P RTAL March 2019 Page 5 Delaying Tactics Snapdragon remembers childhood delaying tactics A s a child I had an imaginary cupboard. In it I put all those suggestions, ideas and possibilities that I found uncomfortable. Maybe they were suggestions that frightened me. Perhaps I thought the ideas were beyond my capabilities. Or it could be that I found the possibilities merely uncomfortable.  These items hidden away in that imaginary cupboard all threatened me in one way or another. Should they come to light, I was sure they would, at best, embarrass me, or at worst, cause me to be humiliated. They were best kept hidden away in that cupboard.  one day, the doors burst open and all those unpalatable ideas, suggestions, and possibilities came tumbling out for all to see. But: and here is the rub: it was too late. The time had passed for them all. The damage had been done. People noticed that I was going to be enthusiastic to begin with, but would nevertheless make sure what ever it was would never happen.  We could all do no better than to recite it daily, for is not God in charge? Is His will thwarted? Is God mocked? I think not. “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” I was shown to be the frightened little boy that I always had been. If only I had had the courage to Oh, I would never admit that they were hidden away embrace some of them. If only I had the trust in the in that all-important imaginary cupboard. When the good people who suggested them. If only I had faith in suggestion was made, I would accept it with glee. Him who actually presented them, that He would see “What a good idea!” I would exclaim. Should an idea me through. be put to me in public, I would always respond with enthusiasm, “That is wonderful. I wish I had thought  When it comes to the Catholic Faith, am I the same? of it!” Do I accept the tenets of the faith outwardly, but inwardly have an imaginary cupboard to hide all the When possibilities presented themselves, I would unpalatable doctrines in?  never shrink away from them when my parents or friends were around. Rather I would, in public at least, Many a parish, many a diocese, many an appear to be full of anticipation for them.  organisation, many a person, is bedevilled by similar imaginary cupboards; places to hide suggestions, ideas In reality of course, I was petrified of them all. and possibilities that are thought to be frightening, Suppose I could not cope? What if I failed? Were this unpalatable, or threatening.  or that to happen, I would be made to look foolish. So outwardly I would show enthusiasm for whatever it At the Catholic Online web site, found at www. was that was put to me; inwardly I was going to make catholic.org/prayers/prayer, we find this act of faith. sure it never happened.  “O my God, I firmly believe that you are one I found many ways to do this. Perhaps we did not God in three divine persons, Father, Son and have the correct equipment? It could be that others Holy Spirit. were not ready. I may develop a cold and be unable to participate.  “I believe that your divine Son became man and died for our sins, and that he will come to As I grew older there were many more ways to delay judge the living and the dead. and eventually stop those embarrassing, belittling and humiliating things from happening. They were “I believe these and all the truths which all designed to prevent me from looking inadequate. the holy catholic Church teaches, because in In the end, of course, my deceptions did the exact revealing them you can neither deceive nor be opposite of my intentions. deceived.”  That imaginary cupboard got ever more full, until