The Portal March 2019 | Page 23

THE P RTAL March 2019 Page 23 … seek thou this soul of mine Fr Michael Halsall F r Richard Meux Benson, the founder of the ‘Cowley Fathers’ – the first male religious order in the Church of England since the Reformation – and founder of the parish where I served my curacy once wrote to a priest, “May God bless your offer of yourself to Himself. Do not doubt that He will. Do not be discouraged by many difficulties. In making the proposal to your father, you were really making it to Him, and He often grants us our request under the appearance of denial. He withholds for a time in order to give the more fully by and by. He has to train us to receive, and when we are made capable of the fullness of blessing, then He pours forth upon us the unspeakable bounty of His love”. There is a great promise here, but at times Benson recognises there will be times of doubt, unclarity, and uncertainty. When we are considering or discerning a vocation in life – a calling from God – then one of the most difficult and precarious aspects of the process is knowing. How can we be sure that it is God’s will that I marry this person? Remain single? Become a deacon or priest? Enter vows into a community and/or the ‘religious life’? Part of the answer to this dilemma is that you cannot be 100% certain, or there would be no place for trust or faith in God’s providence; no respect for the fact that we place ourselves into the hands of others who may have to make decisions on our behalf. Have you ever felt that during mass or in private reflection, that God has spoken to you in his Word? Are you regarded by other people as trustworthy and well-suited to a particular vocation? Perhaps you have been told so. Do you seek out God’s plan for our lives in spiritual direction with a trusted and skilled director? Have you had a particular ‘religious experience’ which points to a particular vocation? Discernment takes time and patience; waiting on the Lord and being accompanied by others. The Fr Stephen Wang, Senior Chaplain to the Universities Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham now offers a of London, has written an excellent booklet which variety of opportunities to live out God’s calling in our helps navigate some of the uncertainties we encounter lives, and we are building up networks to improve this along this path of discernment. He differentiates accompaniment. If you are hearing God’s call to some those calls from within, and calls from without. First, particular life or ministry, then your Group Pastor is from within: are you temperamentally suited to this your first point of contact, but please do not hesitate to contact me also. particular vocation? ‘How to Discover your Vocation’ by Fr Stephen Wang Do you have the appropriate dispositions in life to share it with others, or deny ourselves for a higher (CTS booklets) purpose? This will include your life of prayer. Do your Fr Halsall is the Director of Vocations values genuinely point to your completing the course with a firm conviction? Secondly, from without: Are and Formation for the Ordinariate you versed in the Sacred Scriptures, such that your and is a member of the permanent own story links with that of our Lord, and God’s staff at Allen Hall Seminary. actions in history? [email protected]