THE
P RTAL
February 2016
Page 21
How to bring up
one’s children
Jo Wainwright, an experienced Children’s Occupational Therapist,
a wife and mother of two teenage children,
reviews this important book
Lynette Burrows,
the author of How to bring up one’s children, was schooled at a convent and
became a Catholic at 12 years of age. She has a background in education and writes with experience of
having brought up six children and run pre-schools.
a matter of fact approach
Feeding, early behaviours and sleep
The book was originally written to pass on “to
mothers, simple, practical, time-honoured ways of
making child rearing less of a chore than its modern
image has made it seem”. Lynette discusses historical
changes, theories, and technology and its impact on
child rearing and development, particularly in relation
to interaction and socialisation and child development.
Lynette discusses fashions of breast feeding or not,
demand feeding or not. She is a real advocate for
exhausted mothers who are pressured to do this or
that. She asserts that babies are able to learn to manage
some of their own behaviours once parents have
checked that nothing is required, for example, feeding
or changing.
She is pragmatic that there are difficult periods
throughout parenting and that it is not a natural skill
all mothers have. She mainly writes for mothers as
the prime care givers. We have to acknowledge that
even with changes in paternity leave there is still an
imbalance in ‘equality’.
Her views are supported by the Newborn Behavioural
Observations developed from Brazelton et al who
have spent years observing babies. They learned that
children can self-soothe if allowed with support at the
right time but if not then they will learn to respond to
the parents worries, e.g. as soon as the baby cries the
parent rushes in to pick them up – they don’t get the
chance to learn to calm themselves and in fact learn
to cry to get attention! Lynette uses her experience of
when a child is at its most hungry and alert, making
weaning a fun, positive family experience. Thinking
back on my own parenting experience, I would have
cherished such practical advice as a first time mum!
child interaction and
behaviour management
The book takes us on an interesting journey of child
theorists and mentions ideas of how parents should
or should not interact with their children which have
been tried and disproved over time. From the 1920s to
the 1950s it was deemed unacceptable to show physical
affection as it was considered detrimental to the child
– we now know how much those starved of affection
suffered. Currently she controversially discusses
how physical reprimands, particularly smacking, are
deemed to be assaults on children.
She presents arguments on this and on verbal
reprimands discussing them in relation to bullying. I
recently heard a child theorist discussing how children
should not be kissed on the lips due to the sensuality
of the lips! Lynette writes in a no-nonsense manner
appealing to parents to use common sense and
experience. She discusses the nee