ragon
THE
P RTAL
December 2018
Page 5
Change and decay I all
around me see, but...
A few thoughts from Snapdragon
W hat a
wonderful month we’ve had as the summer pours itself out like faded leaf
mould staining the rain in the bottom of the watering can. Faintly yellow and nearly
warm; it could almost be a metaphor for the body politic. This month the family has been
gripped as the biggest political story for a generation has played out in Westminster: not
Brexit, although that has been up there with the price of oats, but the election to the vacant
hereditary seat in the House of Lords.
We have had no more nor less
than three candidates in the running, which has been
gripping. My dear husband, taking the long view as
always, says that the last time things were so fraught it
cost us over £90,000 to sort out two warring cousins by
buying a couple of peerages from David Lloyd George
in the 1920s. I gather the going rate when New Labour
swept into power in the late 80s was only £10,000 by
way of contribution to party funds for one of these
nasty new ‘give them back when you die’ peerages,
which just shows that things are not what they were.
doing anything serious about it, seems to be back on
track. The Holy See has put a stop to the United States
bench of bishops doing much to put things right and
that will no doubt encourage every Attorney General
in the land to kick the church from here to kingdom
come.
The news from China, where the communist party
now appoints the bishops, is that churches are being
torn down and priests and bishops are disappearing.
An additional adjunct secretary has been appointed
to the CDF, presumably to help them do as little as
possible to tear out the rot at the heart of the church. He
is the elegant and fortunately unmarried archbishop of
Malta.
I know this isn’t quite the same as Brexit, but
it is actually a lot more important. Empires and
governments come and go but the state opening
of parliament is like the fixed star in the firmament
and taking part in that is a great deal more fun than
Now then, what are we to do about Advent? Stir up
listening to DUP politicians droning on about Mrs Sunday has been abolished in favour of some modern
May and her thin red lines.
feast transferred from the start of Trinity and without
it things aren’t quite the same. Obviously the lees of the
The Colombian daughter in law, as she now is, has sloe gin has been frozen for use in Christmas chocolate
just given me a brilliant new cook book which I am and the silver sixpences that have been recovered are
wondering about putting to good use amongst the being readied for the puddings. But what is one to
clergy of East Anglia at the moment. The trouble is read? My penance is to take in a guitar and cymbals
that every recipe calls for an amazing amount of coca thrash once a week and, despite the cost, to pop up to
leaf and some rather unusual looking chemicals. I had town ditto for a decent midweek sermon in one of the
no idea how easy it was to make cocaine nor what city churches. What else can one do apart from a spot
lovely colours it comes in. Having endured some of flagellation and/or outdoor swimming au natural?
truly awful rubbish recently by way of ‘Thought for
the Day’, or whatever it is we are supposed to call the
A real sadness has been the news that the party in
sermon, I think I shall slip some in to the plate and Rome next year for the Ordinariates has been cancelled.
see if that improves things. I can’t imagine many of Apparently, those who are in charge of such things in
the Ordinariate clergy can run to a pick me up of this the Vatican were hoping to invite some lawyers to chat
variety, but it might do wonders for recruitment if we over the joys of being ten years old. I may have missed
could dish it out with the biscuits after mass.
the finer points of this but anyone who thinks lawyers
are either interesting or a good thing needs to get out
The news from Rome follows on fairly naturally a bit more. A party is what we need and if the grown
from a discussion of mind altering substances of the ups won’t let us have one in Rome then I suggest we
illegal variety. Sodomy, child molestation and clerical organise our own here. If Mgr Keith asks nicely I’ll
wickedness, together with the need to stop anyone cook up something from my new cook book.