The Portal December 2017 - Page 5

ragon THE P RTAL December 2017 Page 5 Toads Revisited Some reflections by Snapdragon R eflecting on the lessons of Hollywood and Westminster one laments the readiness of the powerful to resort to lawyers when they wish to disguise their lamentable behaviour. Philip Larkin, to whom this poetic title owes it genesis, was bad with woman but never from a position of power. Lawyers may be disagreeable, argumentative and often personally odious, with disgusting personal hygiene, but the point about bullies or toads is that however many lawyers they hire they cannot stand toothpaste, truth and personal ridicule. wrong at a much more fundamental level. We should have concentrated on woodwork and the niceties of hammering nails into doors so that, with the other essential skill of toad kicking, we were better fitted to the eternal task of ridding the world of heretics. What has any of this to do with the great debate of our time: namely killing children? Nothing: because The unpalatable truth is that those woman who there is no debate to be had. What is required is a knelt before the great man who controlled so much ruthless repetition of a central truth which is that the of the western film industry did so because they very content of my womb does not belong to me. correctly recognised that no one would do anything about it and no one would give them work unless they Those who have forgotten that truth is an absolute, did his bidding. will continue to sound as uncertain about this as they do about every other nostrum they peddle. More toad How utterly shameful that not a single person dared work I fear. to say that the clever, charming, rich and O so powerful toad was nothing but an odious bully. As leaf falls gently on to frost stained grass and Advent creeps into the very crevice of our being, the Turning to the banks of the Tiber, where toads can perennial question of where the silver sixpences have be found by the bucket load, and the toad silence is gone rears its ugly head. deafening, one wonders whether it will be toothpaste, truth or ridicule that brings the brutes to heel: or A decent Christmas pudding needs silver rather whether it will be a saintly priest. My money is on than anything else in it to break teeth and generally toothpaste, although a toad stamping crusade has its perk up luncheon. Without wishing to point fingers at attractions. anyone I cannot help remembering that the last time they were seen was during the washing up two years 500 years on from the start of the Reformation, ago presided over by Cardinal C (as we shall describe marked by the nailing of theses to the notice board of him for the sake of propriety). the great church in Wittenberg, one cannot help but Surely they cannot have been pocketed in a fit of wonder if this could ever have got off the ground today. absent mindedness brought on by the second bottle of Meditating on those who today practice the science, Armagnac so thoughtlessly provided for our guests? art and craft of theology, one is driven to the conclusion that not one of them possesses a hammer or would have the necessary manual dexterity to hold a nail in approximately the right position for even a couple of seconds. Ordinariate Newsletter When Snapdragon was a girl at school before the war we were all encouraged to develop our inner self by learning as much as possible about domestic science. This was obviously slightly overdone at the poorer and less able end of schools where we had to be prepared for a life of dull servitude but I see now it was visit /news /newsletter