The Portal April 2018 | Page 5

THE P

Snapdragon

RTAL
April 2018 Page 5

The Hollow Men

April musings by Snapdragon

Correspondence has been flooding in from around the world on the subject of moles . A reader in Basingstoke asks where he may obtain copious supplies of saltpetre for the treatment of pelts ( Brocks the well known firework manufacturer for those interested ) while a solitary reader in Kamchatka , where the ground has been over hard , asks where the best place to get moles at this time of year might be . From a very poor mission priest in Papua New Guinea comes thanks for a delicious addition to a diet over-reliant on tropical fruits . Given the interest , and despite the biblical prohibition on its consumption , it is clear that the world is now ready for some hints toward a really delicious raddled loin of badger .

Am I alone in thinking that the obvious difference between Popes Benedict XVI and Francis is that one is not a theologian and the other is ? There are other differences of course , not least their choice of footwear and the people with whom they associate , but the theological thing is really quite noticeable . What on earth prompted the Prefect of the Secretariat for Communication to write to Pope Benedict asking him to review what passes for the theological output of his successor in the first place ?
Pope St John Paul II and then me to kick them out years ago .
With best wishes for the good of your , and his , soul .
This lot is then cut and pasted and sent round the world in an attempt to convince one and all that Pope Benedict the theologian endorses all that flows from the pen of Pope Francis , including no doubt , his full and measured responses to the dubia flowing from Amoris Laetitia .
In the second , what on earth , and it was clearly nothing in heaven , was it that prompted him to cut and paste the astonishingly rude response and tell the world that Pope Benedict thought that everything from Pope Francis in these amusing little books was spot on ? The obvious answer is toadying fear ( Rome is stuffed full of toads , each of whom needs a good kicking ) which was probably prompted by those set in authority over him and egged on by some loathsome character defect known to them if no one else .
Pope Benedict ’ s response to the letter asking him to review and endorse Pope Francis ’ theology is :
Dear Toady
Thank you for sending me 11 pamphlets with pictures in the series The Famous Five Go Poodle Faking and asking me to review them in the motoring column of the esteemed journal of Sicilian Road Bridges and Building . Unfortunately , as a retired nonogenarian , I am incredibly busy , what with piano practice and so on , which means that I can ’ t oblige . As you know , the Pope succeeded me , which probably means according to your understanding of the hermeneutic of continuity that there is nothing between us . I see that most of this rubbish isn ’ t actually written by the Pope himself , although he signs it off , and that a couple of heretics are back in harness peddling the wicked drivel that forced
President Trump cannot bring himself to use the word lie , preferring instead to talk about fake news , which means so far as I can see , lies . President Putin doesn ’ t care , he simply lies . In theological circles I understand there is an important phrase which means lying but which gives comfort to those who indulge in the habit . It is liberal relativism . Liberal relativists are liars and liberal relativism is a lie and now we see what happens when liars are let loose in the Vatican press office . The Pope is made to look ridiculous and that is bad for all of us .
As we go to press the world is girding up its loins for Palm Sunday and there is much fasting yet to be done . How good to know that in the House of Lords on the Tuesday following Passion Sunday the Lords Spiritual and Temporal were giving anxious thought to the burning questions of the day : infanticide and litter picking . Oral Questions “ Enabling woman undergoing early medical abortion to take the second dose of the medication Misoprostol at home ; inclusion of litter picking in the National Curriculum for Year 6 children to tidy up the roads and encourage civic responsibility ”. So there you have it , socially responsible murder at the kitchen table and litter picking for 11 year olds . Then took they the body of Jesus , and wound it in linen clothes with the spices , as the manner of the Jews is to bury . Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden ; and in the garden was a new sepulchre , wherein was never yet man laid . Jesus wept .