The Perfect Gentleman Issue 8 - Halloween | Page 40

Scary Dates

The Bonfire of the Gentleman
Autumn, the turning of the golden season into
the season of the dead. It’s a time of change;
ghouls, ghosts, and spirits; Samhain, All Saint’s
Day, and the Day of the Dead. It is the gathering
of fallen leaves and the lighting of annual
bonfires to consume nature’s decay.
Fire is the true test; a purifying rite of passage. It
is the bonfire of the gentleman that men must
walk through to prove themselves worthy of the
title. But how many can succeed? For this single
woman who has been on hundreds of dates,
many of them dull and uninteresting, some truly
uncomfortable, nasty, and even horrific, I know
that only few men who can survive the trial by
the gentleman’s fire.

by Leah
Morrigan
40

Dreadful Diners
Most of us understand that good manners are
important, but unfortunately, some people
clearly haven’t a sniff. I started seeing a fellow
several years ago who I liked but because of his
ill-mannered ways, I ran away screaming and
didn’t look back.
The third time I saw him, we met for breakfast
on a Saturday morning. I ordered a pretty
normal weekend breakfast of coffee with eggs
Florentine on English muffins. He drank water
and ordered fried eggs and salad.
When the food came and we began eating, I had
to look away because watching him shovel
iceberg lettuce from a fork dripping with egg
yolk into his mouth - which he didn’t bother to
close while chewing - was a disgusting sight. I
was put off of my food. I laid my napkin over
my plate and what was left of my breakfast.

The Perfect Lady