It is recognised the world over as a symbol of
greeting. In almost all cases, the right hand is
used, with a firm grip, and good eye contact. A
simple pumping up and down of the hand for a
few seconds, and then release. As a general rule,
I would try to match the grip pressure of the
other person, without allowing it to escalate into
a contest of strength.
It is also common in the Western world, for a
Gentleman to be able to shake hands with a
Lady on their first meeting, and the handshake
would be exactly the same.
Some people like to supplement the handshake
with the use of the left hand. It could be added
to the grip, surrounding the hand of the other
person, on their lower or upper arm, or on their
shoulder. This is generally done as a sign of
power or dominance over the other person. An
other of the ways that a handshake can be
dominant, is by rotating the hand so that it is on
top of the other person's during the shake. If
meeting someone for the first time, these
additions to the handshake could be seen to be
overbearing, arrogant, or presumptuous, and
may well create a negative impression. I would
always recommend avoiding these in the West,
but you might find them to be useful in Russia,
where men are expected to be ultra masculine,
and a certain amount of physical presence is not
only appreciated, but expected.
When a Gentleman is greeting a Lady from these
parts of the world, it is best to do the research to
see what is expected in each specific place that
you are going to. If, however, that is not
possible, the a simple nod of the head during the
greeting is a good contingency.
In some communities with a big Buddhist
influence, you might find that a greeting of
putting your palms flat together in front of your
chest, with the fingers pointing upwards, and a
bowing of the head is the norm. It is seen as the
standard greeting of the Thai people, but its use
is not limited to Thailand.
As with all things, the best advice that I can give
is to take the advice that was given to me and
many others, I am sure, when learning to drive:
drive defensively, not offensively. Carrying the
sentiment on, dive into other cultures
defensively, not offensively. Hang back a little,
wait for your host or those who are more
familiar with the local customs to make the first
move, and to show you the correct way of things
for that part of the world.
By avoiding any faux pas at the outset, you open
the way to insights into other peoples and
cultures that might otherwise not be available to
you. Don't miss out by putting your foot in it and
creating the wrong impression.
Another way that the handshake can be
supplemented is with a hug, wrapping the left
hand around the shoulder of the other person,
and embracing them. Although this does not
have the same connotations as the other uses of
the left hand in the handshake, it could be seen
as overly familiar, or an invasion of the personal
space of the other person, and again should not
be used in the first meeting.
There are many parts of the world where
physical contact between men and women is
considered to be acceptable only between
members of the same family. These can include
the Middle East, South Asia, and some parts of
South East Asia.
24
Mannered Gentleman