The Perfect Gentleman Issue 2 - April 2016 | Page 41

Thoughtful Gentleman
Admit and Move On
We ALL have problems, issues and
insecurities. You think I am wrong? Ask any
model if they are happy with the way they
look and they will say they aren’t beautiful or
there is something is wrong with their eyes,
nose, ears, legs, etc. Do you know the
difference between confident people and
those who lack confidence in this regard?
The confident ones know where they have
issues and they do one of two things, they
either deal with them to change it or they just
acknowledge it and move on. There are
things that you can change and then their are
things that you can’t, but those things should
never affect your self-belief.
Write down those things about which you are
insecure. Look at the list. Are there things that
you want to change and can change? If so,
make a plan to do so, one small step at a time.
If not and you can’t or don't want to change
them, acknowledge them out loud, say it to
the world and then rip up that piece of paper
into tiny shreds, burn it and put it to bed.
You can do this exercise multiple times and
the symbolic gesture is a reflection of the
mental process you are going through.
Now move on, nothing to see here...
Visualisations and Role Models
Sports science has discovered the power of
visualisation and how effective it is for
sportsmen. Ever watched a Formula 1 driver
sit in his cockpit and start to move his head
from side to side and steer the wheel. He is
visualising the path he is going take.

You can see it when a rugby player takes a
penalty kick, he will look from the ball to the
posts. He is visualising the trajectory of the
ball and where he will place it.
Visualising a successful expected outcome,
not only increases the chance of that outcome
happening, it also increases our internal
confidence of it actually occurring. Indeed,
our emotions and physiology react the same
to the visualisation as to the actual event.
Therefore we can take this into any situation
from a key business meeting to asking that
special person for a date. Visualise the whole
event and visualise the successful outcome.
This will not only prep you for the event
itself, but will instill you with the confidence
to make it happen. Next time you have a
situation like that, try visualisation and you
might be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.
The other side of visualisation is role models,
those who have successfully done it, or
something similar, before. People always
need someone to look up to, to learn from
and to aspire to be. That is true in any walk of
life. As Isaac Newton said “If I have seen
further it is by standing on the shoulders of
giants.”
Nearly all successful people will look to those
who have gone before, for tips, success and
advice and also for how they have overcome
their challenges. This is the key factor for
confidence. No matter how successful we may
be, we all have things that we need to
overcome, such as dyslexia, disability and
destitution. Those who have gone before you
have overcome these things and this will give
you the confidence to overcome your own
challenges.

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