To be honest with you, it was difficult reconciling
myself to the fact that as a kid and in some areas, early
on in life, that I took God for granted. It’s even harder
admitting it to people I don’t know, but here I am.
I’ve been in car crashes, robberies, evictions - and
knowing that I wasn’t supposed to be there wasn’t
enough. Plus, I indulged in drinking and smoking
marijuana. I started smoking when I was about 13 or
14 years old, just so I could seem a little bit tougher.
What was I thinking?! I used to carry a knife with me
everywhere. Then I was introduced to guns and it was
all downhill from there.
Prison forces you to deal with yourself and along the
way Jesus and His words, old and new testament,
taught me to love myself. As I’m writing this I’m
teary-eyed thinking of how I was willing to die for a
block I didn’t own. I almost forfeited eternity for the
temporary.
God blessed me to get into a good high school and
that’s where things were supposed to change, but I did
a complete 180 and went against His word after He in-
troduced Himself to me personally through people
who were upper-classmen that I looked up to. I’ve had the good fortune to be involved in some of the
best Bible studies taught by the best Bible teachers.
Some of the people who gave me their time are
scholars and it’s truly a blessing to know that God
accepted me as I am/was and loves me enough not to
leave me that way. All the experiences and people He
allowed to participate in my life were working in
concert to make me a better man. A man not afraid to
love or be loved, brave enough to admit my faults and
to know that the power to be awesome only came from
Him. God, the most high, the creator in the mighty
name of Christ Jesus!
At the same time God showed up and I began to take
a real interest in Him and His presence in my life.
That’s when the enemy put major road-blocks in my
path, and I failed at school - even though I was intelli-
gent enough to make it. I quit. I got more into guns
and then that’s when it went out of control. I love knowing that I’m not submitting to some guy
who wears a robe with long hair and a beard. I submit
to the name of Christ, not an image we have to watch
out for idols because the enemy is very cunning. His
plan is to leave us perplexed and wondering, “How did
I get here?”
I did some things I never should’ve done and ended up
getting 20 years in prison for armed robbery and false
imprisonment. Keep in mind that anything can become an idol. At
any point the enemy could manipulate the situation,
the setting that we may be in, or maybe even the sense,
or our own emotions. To some it could be food, cars,
and other material possessions, but since we’re
incarcerated could our idol become freedom? That’s
just a little food for thought. Don’t allow the enemy to
leave you vexed because even an ideal can become an
idol.
Now that I’m rapidly approaching my 16 years in, I
look back and see where it all went wrong. By not
truly acknowledging His grace, mercy, and peace, He
had to show me what it’s like to not have it.
I’ve since realized that I love knowing that I don’t
seek to find my worth from man. God is who deter-
mines my worth. I’ve seen and heard all that I don’t
want to be. That’s why I strive for perfection knowing
that Jesus is the mark, and I must do all I can to attain
that. And when I fail, He’s there to show me that even
though I can’t gain perfection in this life, He’ll be
right there waiting in the next life with open arms.
A lot of people are rich in ignorance and
misunderstanding but poor in knowledge. I seek to
change that not only in others, but for myself as well.
I’m not happy being ignorant. So, I fight to educate
myself about who my creator is. Youth may be wasted
on the young, but age doesn’t make you wise either.
We must find that balance.
With that being said, I want you to know that you are
never alone, especially when you serve such an
awesome, amazing God! He created us to be strong
and to know where that strength comes from.
For the Spirit God gave us does not
make us timid, but gives us power, love
and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7
Continue to do what needs to be done even in the face
of adversity. In the name of Christ Jesus, I love you
and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it!
With love and respect,
Mr. Roderick L. Harris
19