The Pen Project Volume 1 Issue 2 - Page 47

restore your temple by James Kinsella, MD So, I was sick. Drained. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically at a low point in my life. Do you know the feeling? The thing that makes this low point in my life so sweet (as I look back) is this: it was exactly where God wanted me. It was His plan for me and exactly what I needed. Could I see it at the time? Not clearly. Would I have chosen that path for myself? No. To be perfectly honest, I hated the way I felt physically. I was disgusted with where my ambivalence to God’s law, His call, and His path had put me and my family. I was saddened to the point of feeling despair. Like the Psalmist at the beginning of Psalm 42:5, “I cried out, why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” It was exactly where God wanted me. Desperately in need of my Savior. In the midst of that time in my life, I could feel His presence. I knew He had more for me. I knew deep down that He was my Father, but He felt distant. I felt like the God of the Bible and the life I saw before my eyes were not aligned. “Where is the disconnect?” I asked. Then like the clap of thunder, His words began to come down on me. I was questioning God and why He felt distant to me. God had a few questions for me in return? God is the Creator, and I am His creation. So when I questioned His plan, like in the book of Job, He said to me. “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding (Job 38:4).” He was calling me to glorify Him with my life, all of it. God is the Father of all nations. So when I questioned His discipline of me, He said to me, “For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives (Hebrews 12:6).” He was calling me to trust Him as a loving Father, even as He disciplined me. Was I going to trust Him? God is the Sovereign King. He knows the hairs on my head. The words I will say. The beginning from the end. He directs. He chooses. He upholds the earth with His Word. He said to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion (Romans 9:15).” He was calling me to surrender to Him as the King of my life and rest under His Kingly rule. Was I willing to surrender to my King? God is the Author of salvation. His grace is amazing. He is love; so He defines what love is. Not me. He is righteous; so He defines what righteousness is. Not me. His way is narrow and few will find it, but His yoke is easy and His burden is light. His gracious answer to my desperate need for a Savior has a name, and His name is Jesus. The same Jesus who said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me (John 14:6).” He was calling me to full repentance and a living faith in Him, and Him, alone to save me. Was I willing to stop simply believing in a person named Jesus and to instead place the faith of all of my life into the hands of the only One who could save me? He removed my heart of stone and gave me a new heart. One that soon realized, He wants all of me and wants me now, exactly, where I am. I trust Him. He is my King. I have turned from being my own savior. My faith is in Jesus. He wants all of you, now, and exactly where you are. If you are asking, like the Psalmist, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” It would be helpful to finish Psalm 42:5. Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation (Psalm 42:5). Hope in God! Praise Him. He is your salvation. He created you. Are you living for Him? He is the ultimate Father. Do you trust Him? He is the Sovereign King. Have you surrendered to Him? He is the Author of salvation. Have you put your faith in Jesus and Him alone to save you? My prayer for you is that you now can or someday will answer yes to all of these questions and with me say, “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 2:1314).” James Kinsella, MD serves on 513FREE’s board. James is a man after God’s own heart. He is a life-example of what it means and looks like to follow Christ. You will find as you read his book, Restore Your Temple, and writings within The Pen Project that he is an encourager through the Word of God. Giving us, the readers, a better understanding of who God truly is and what our response should be. 47