The New Social Worker Vol. 20, No. 1, Winter 2013 | Page 26

What Every New Social Worker Needs To Know... 10 Things Every New Social Worker Needs To Know About People by Linda Conroy, M.Ed. I f you are reading this article, you are probably a new social worker or someone working as a support to families in some way. This work can be scary, as it is about people’s lives. I am happy to have this opportunity to tell you some things I wish someone had explained to me when I started working as a child protective services worker. I hope these words may help you and your families thrive together. Thank you for carrying on the work of supporting families in being safe and healthy. 1. No one plans to abuse or neglect their children. Remember a time when you visited a new baby and everyone played pass the baby, who was the most adorable thing you had ever seen. All families do it. All parents have big dreams, ideals, and plans, even if they are young, uneducated, or poor. Their plans don’t include being homeless, being a victim of other adults, or being addicted to substances. They never imagine that they will neglect their parental duties. This happens when things go wrong, and things can go wrong for lots of reasons. Although most parents genuinely want to change and do better for their children, they may have had too much to overcome and not enough skills to manage their own lives adequately. Perhaps no one has ever done for them what you are going to do—offer them a sense of hope for safety, security and a good tomorrow, with no shame or blame attached. the same but NOT THE SAME. Everyone is unique, and everyone has a right to be heard for who they are. Everyone has unique skills, strengths, and idiosyncrasies. Keep looking and listening until you see each person. 3. Remember you have most of the power. If you are a child protective services worker, a counselor, a teacher, a child care provider, or anyone who has a responsibility to report concerns of child abuse, it isn’t easy for parents to talk to you if they are afraid they have done wrong. They don't have an equal or mutual relationship with you. Parents think you must be way better than them, way smarter, way more capable, and they know you are way more powerful. You are the “they” that they worry about. Parents who might be abusive or neglectful are ashamed and embarrassed to talk to you. They might lie to you, not because they are hapless, manipulative liars, but because they are scared and because they have learned all their lives that authorities are not to be trusted. They may be so scared that they are not thinking as they speak. They may tell you only what they think you want to hear. It’s easy to abuse your power if you are also scared and afraid you won’t do a good job, but remember the more fair you can make it, the more reassurance you can give, the more caring you are, and the more honest you are, the more they will tell you. 2. Every situation is unique. Every person is unique. Every family is unique. When you receive a new assignment and find yourself thinking, “This is easy. This is like last month’s family who lived next door,” or, “I worked with her sister before, and she’s probably just like her,” remember this—not the same, not the sam K??H?[YK?]?\?H?[YK?ZY????H?[YH[?ZY???[???B? ?\?[?[???[[[?H[??[?[????K\?[??H?[Z[HX[B?X?\?[?XZ?[??YY][??H?X\??\?Y?H??X[?]?H?\?H\?H?\?[???XX??\?[?]???H?\???[????Y?H??[YH\???H?\???????[??Y [???????X\???B????X[???\??ZY]\??[??[??H[?[??\?Y??H[????]?]\???[??\?[]Y??Y[???\??\??[??HX?H??Y ??[?Y??HY??\\?]Y???H\??[??\?[]Y\??\???????[?\? ? L??H?]????X[???\???[??\?]?[???]\?[?\??H?[???\??]Y \??HY??????][?B???????[?H??H]?B?[?[?Y?Z?H????\?H?\??[??H?]?H?X??]???[????\?]H[??]???YH[?H???\?B?[??Y?K?]\?Y??&]YX[?]?H?\[??Y?K??[?[H\?Y??Z[??????H]\?]?K?H?\?Y?] 8?'??B??[?H]?H[?HYXH??H]?H]?Y ????H?[?H???[?][??X??]?]?H]?H??H??Y? ???H?[?H]?B??Y[?\??H?[???'H\?H?\??[[??B?[?H???K????\??K?H?\??Y? ??B??YYY?\?[?[?X\?????H\?[??\??\???Y?]H?U\???[Y[X?\?]?]?[??Y??HX^H]?HH]????\??YH[?]?H[\?\??]?H]\?[??Y?Y\??\??\??X?H?X?\Y[?????B???[???]?H??&]???[??Y[??[?[X]H???Y?H??]????[??Z\????[Z[Y\?\?[?[??\?H?[?]?[??[???H[[?\ZXY ??B?K?[?H?X]?\??H?^B?^H]?H?Y[??X]Y ?\?[???\?H]?[??Y??X?[Y\?X^HY[]?[?K??X\?][?K[??[YH[?K?]\?]^H???^HX?[??^\?^B?X\??Y[?Z\????[Z[Y\?^HX^B???]?HX\??Y?[??X??]?^H?X]?\??X^H??]?HX\??Y???[H[\?[?\?[??\???XZ??][KX^H?????]??[\??[??H???Y?]?]Y[[????[XK?X^H?????]^H?[?]?H??????\?Z\?]?\?[?X^H??]?H[?B??[??H??H???[?????H?]\?K????&]Z?HZ\??Z]?[?\???[K???Y\H???\??][??Y?H?[H[?[??X??]???\?[?\?H??[HZY??K?????]Z\??\?\?[??K???&]\??YH???Y? ?Y?[?H?]Y?[??]?K???[\?[???[O?B????\?X?[??[?H?\??&]?YX[?\?H\??????H[?K??\?X???[?][?H]X??\?\?[?X??\?\?????? ???\??[??[??X[?B??