The New Social Worker Vol. 20, No. 1, Winter 2013 | Page 13

have since learned some very effective tools and ways to remedy situations like this, and as a result, I have since held some very successful groups. One of the most helpful things is to always include a short, educational component with each group meeting. This seems to serve as a fool-proof way of initiating appropriate, topic-related conversation. It also helps keep the group on track and on task. If things get slow or flat, this gives me something to which I can refer. “So and so had a great point about XYZ. Has anyone else experienced something similar?” I prepare for each group as if I am preparing for a mini-lecture, complete with questions and resources, in case anyone chooses to research the topic further. This preparation has saved me numerous times and has prompted more compliments from attendees than any other single approach I have taken. I have also started holding my groups in a neutral setting. Having my groups off-site allows for fewer distractions (for example, seeing their loved ones being cared for or escorted in wheelchairs to dinner). This lack of familiarity has become very conducive to staying focused and no one person feeling overly comfortable. Some of the most valuable things I have learned have evolved out of experience, trial and error, and just plain instinct. I now understand that the group itself is as unique as its participants. I have learned that flexibility, on my part, is essential. I have learned that a successful group isn’t necessarily one in which my goals for it have been achieved. Success is more broadly defined by each individual in the group. Success may be one person befriending another as a result of the group. For someone else, it might be that he/she truly learned the importance of self care and signed up for a yoga class. I now know that I cannot take credit for a successful group, nor should I assume full responsibility for a less than successful one. It is all part of the process of learning, together. We are learning about each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and shortcomings; in other words, our humanness. We are learning how to best support one another when there are no solutions or shortcuts to healing. We are learning that when someone cries, it’s okay if you don’t necessarily know what to say and choose to say nothing. The single most important thing that I can do and be as a facilitator is genuine. This overrides anything else and provides more long-lasting support than one can imagine. I have learned that sometimes people demonstrate their pain in less than endearing ways. I have learned that sometimes the least loveable/likeable/approachable person needs support more than those who are easier to support. I have learned that everyone has a story, but not everyone wants to, or needs to, tell it in order to benefit. I have learned that some benefits are simply immeasurable and that a group of two or three can be as valuable and therapeutic as a larger group. Most importantly, I have learned that my strength and preference for practice is still one-on-one work with clients, but that with preparation, compassion, structure, and flexibility, I can facilitate an excellent support group. So can you, with or without doughnuts! Renee R. Zandee-Adams, MSW, LCSW, received her MSW from Arizona State University. She has worked as a hospice social worker for the past 12 years and previously was Social Service Director at a skilled nursing facility. She wrote a chapter in Days in the Lives of Gerontological Social Workers. She has also taught a graduate course in Social Work Practice with Elders at Arizona State University West. The New Social Worker Winter 2013 11