EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
TRUE
AND FAKE
EMOTIONS
Is everything you feel real?
H
OW EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT YOU
are, depends on how good you are at
identifying and knowing the difference
between thoughts, feelings and actions. Actions can
be seen, but thoughts and feelings cannot be seen.
So far we have discussed the effects of emotions
on us with the understanding that the emotions
we feel are genuine. However, it is also true that
we sometimes exaggerate the exhibition of our
emotions to others in order to get the desired
reaction out of them; for example, we may be trying
to earn sympathy. We may even fake our emotions in
order to convince people of how much we love them.
You might notice that certain people try to take
advantage of you when they see that you are in a
good mood. Therefore, as a deterrent, you might
impose superficial anger upon yourself in front
of them.
What is coming from your thoughts is fake
and what is coming from your feelings is true.
Remember that emotions are reactions; their
authenticity depends on the actions they are
reactions to. You are the creator of your own
thoughts; if your emotions are a reaction to those
thoughts, then both the action and reaction are
taking place in your mind. The feelings that arise
as a response to your experiences rather than
your thoughts are not made up by you in any way,
therefore they are authentic.
16
MESSIAH HERALD / ISSUE 04 / MAY 2017
Hatred and Love Anger
When we talk about love and hatred, we tend
to look at it from a black and white perspective:
hatred being bad and love being good. However,
hatred need not be utilised in a negative way.
Even a saint of God feels hatred because
hatred is not just against human beings. You
can also feel hatred for your own actions due to
how you may have unintentionally hurt others.
Sometimes, you hate your own habits; perhaps
you want to quit doing something but you are not
in control of yourself. Hatred is something that
is a reaction to your expectations – you begin to
have this repulsive feeling when a situation does
not turn out in your favour.
Love attracts and hatred repels. Love is to
pull and hatred is to push.
Love can have different sources, that’s why
we say there is ‘true love’ and ‘fake love’. If your
Carnal Self (ego) is powerful, the source of your
love is evil. If the source of love is the heart, it
is totally different in nature from carnal love.
Nevertheless, if someone were to look at the
symptoms associated with love, they would
appreciate even carnal love because they would
not know the difference between true and fake
love.
Sometimes it is a necessity and we mistake
it for love. Sometimes, people say, ‘I cannot live
without you,’ and later on you find out that they
were right – but it was your financial support
they could not live without. For now, you may
think you have extreme love for somebody, but
as you become more emotionally intelligent,
perhaps you will find out that you needed them,
not loved them. If the source of anger is the Carnal Self, it is
destructive. However, anger is constructive
when it comes from an enlightened heart.
A fully spiritualised person has the Lord’s
presence in his heart and divine energy running
through his bloodstream. If he expresses anger,
divine energy will emanate from his body with
his words; this divine energy will nullify negative
energy in people around him and aid them on the
spiritual path.
For most of us, anger is related to the Carnal
Self. It is triggered by certain things, the most
common being when a situation does not go
the way we planned. For example, we might
feel irritated because we want someone to do
something our way, but they do it their way; or
we don’t want someone to do something and yet
they still do it.
What we can do to help us out from this
position is to broaden our minds and think
‘Maybe I am wrong and their way is better.’
Tell yourself that nobody is perfect. You
cannot be arrogant, even if you have expertise
in a field. Leave some room for improvement. If
somebody rejects you or your policies, then do
not react right away.