even leads me to short periods of deep depression. But nobody thinks about that. Nobody considers that. Everyone just thinks I’m annoying for complaining and being unappreciative of what I’ve been born with.
I look to other people for help, for guidance on what to do. But it doesn’t work. It never works. And I never expect it to. I guess there’s a little hope that someday someone will say something that will just make everything snap into place. I’m the one tearing myself down. Nobody but me. I think I try to blame society and other people because it’s easier that way. People don’t ever want to admit that they themselves are what’s toxic in their life. And even when they have, what comes next? Nobody can help me but me. No matter what I’m told I always find some evil way to twist it against me. “That’s not true,” “they don’t mean that,” “they’re lying to you.” I realized – nobody does this to me but me. So why do I make other people try to fix it? Why do I go around seeking help in hopes that they say something that snaps things into place if they’re not the ones doing the damage?
That’s when I had to face the facts. I spent so much time trying to list different toxins in my life, but the biggest one is me. I am my poison and my antidote.
Now what?